The Conductor as Yogi: No More “Less Than”

Sometimes, I divide our large mixed choir into separate treble and bass ensembles to give them a different experience singing SSAA or TTBB repertoire.  Great for programming and for variety in rehearsal, and for listening in a different way for blend and balance and color.

When I resumed this practice a couple of years ago after our pandemic break, I was puzzled, particularly by the treble singers, who did not seem to coalesce as an ensemble in the way they did on their mixed choir music.  The repertoire was well-chosen (no resistance or eye rolling detected), and they had a mature collegiate sound.  But they held back, as though they were all waiting for someone to take the lead or for something to emerge.  It became clear that unconsciously, they were operating from a deficit mindset.  They were acting as though they were “less than,” unable to be successful because “half the choir” was missing.  They had a fixed identity that was dependent on the tenors and basses, though they were very musically healthy on their own.

How often do we assume we are “less than” because we perceive that something or someone is missing?  Singers graduate or move out of town.  Children leave the nest.  Job responsibilities change, or are reduced, or are increased but with fewer resources than before.  Or you are no longer doing the job you had for many years.  “Less than” begins to permeate our thinking and that can lead to questioning our self-worth and our purpose.

On the cusp of the new year, we think about the big questions of life and ponder changes or resolutions going forward.  Often they center around diet or exercise or other visible parts of our life.  Perhaps this year, we can think more deeply – about the unseen, our inner life, and how it impacts our mindset and our joy and our soul work.  To do this, let’s consider three ideas.

What we do (look like, own, drive, live in) is separate from who we are.  We are all caught up in this, knowingly or not—thinking the outward, the resume items, the “stuff” of our lives gives us credibility or worth.  But in doing this, we allow a shifting world to determine who we are.  This leaves us always in anticipation, confused, and in a reactionary mode (today I’m awesome, but tomorrow maybe I won’t be).  Though the stuff we have and the things we do can emerge from who we are, they are separate from our identity as a human, a unique, one-time only soul with a purpose that is ours to see and to live out.

We cannot be who we are until we know who we are. Unless we come to know who we are at our core, we will allow our actions, our choices, and our demeanor to be determined by the wishes and judgment (perceived or real) of others.  Think about that.  We can miss our life’s destination by riding on someone else’s train.

The best gift we can gift ourselves this New Year is a rich inner life.  This may come from a spiritual inquiry, a breathing or walking meditation practice, or regular buffer time each day to get away from the faceless judge of social media or the unpleasable beings in our midst that telegraph “less than” when they walk into the room.  A rich inner life is not self-absorption, which is rooted in getting to where someone else wants us to be.  A rich inner life begins with gratitude and humility and opens our eyes to opportunities to bring something good to the world around us.  A contribution made without expecting acknowledgement or reward.  Just an expression of a hands-open gift to those around us, a gift only we can give.

This New Year, may you be well, may you be free, may you live in and resonate a quiet joy and, perhaps for the first time, may you know yourself.

Dr. Ramona Wis is the Mimi Rolland Endowed Professor in the Fine Arts, Professor of Music, and Director of Choral Activities at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois and the author of The Conductor as Leader:  Principles of Leadership Applied to Life on the Podium.  Dr. Wis is a 500-hour CYT (Certified Yoga Teacher) and a certified Brain Longevity® Specialist, a research-based certification on yoga and integrative medicine for brain health and healthy aging. Reach her at: or ramonawis.com.