The Conductor as Yogi: The To-Be List

“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.”

Eckhart Tolle

It’s concert day.  My to-do list has been updated regularly and I check it once, then twice (OK, more than that), to be sure all is in order and I use our time well—mine and that of our singers and related staff, everyone involved in making this final event of the year a special one.

You know this feeling of intense focus and the weight of responsibility for the musical experience.  The final questions we ask ourselves, including the distracting ones:  should I have programmed differently, should they be standing in a different arrangement, did I “fix” everything in the music . . . the endless mind chatter that at least right now, has no helpful place on our day’s agenda.

But this morning, in a moment of clarity, my attention shifted away from the “to-do” to another kind of list.  As I visualize our afternoon rehearsals and the concert itself, I zoom out and think of the many interactions I will have.  The times I can look directly into the eyes of singers (not just as a wide pan around the room), the words I will choose to speak, and the breaths I will take and share with others.  My awareness has shifted to the opportunities on my “to-be” list.

We are trained professionals who live through countless rehearsals and concerts, learning all along the way, building our skills, knowledge, programs, and careers.  But do we learn to shift our awareness to the human element that transcends it all?  Do we prepare in a different way, striving to bring our best human selves to handle the inevitable challenges and surprises of the day?

Our “to-be” list demands differently of us.  Focusing on who we will be today requires:

That we know who we are, really, underneath the titles and responsibilities of the job.  What we do best, how we create and interact most authentically, when we feel most “at home in our skin.” Knowing who we are prevents us from clouding our thinking and actions with an added layer of external expectation and judgment.  Singers and audiences respond to authenticity, without self-absorption, pretext, script-following, or unnecessary complexity.

That we trust ourselves.  We need to trust that the work we have done will pay off in our conducting, our ability to respond to surprises (especially in concert), and to the relationships we have built along the way.  That something in those “coach speeches” we have made throughout the year will pop up in the minds and hearts of our singers at just.the.right.time.

That we trust our singers.  Yes, even those whose attendance is spotty or who seem disengaged at times.  Trust that they want to be part of something good, something that taps their soul and gives them moments away from the strife they see in the world and feel in their own lives.  We need to trust they will “be there” intellectually, vocally, and emotionally to the degree they can and that it will be more than enough.  That the skill and understanding we helped them build will surface, maybe even surprising us in its excellence!

That we let go.  Never easy, especially for conductors in the public eye.  But we fool ourselves by thinking that we actually have control of it all, in our music or in life.  Having a space of detachment allows us to stay clear-minded and objective, heightens our sensitivity, and helps our decision-making in performance or when time is limited.  Doing the work and then letting go of the outcomes, the yoga principle of vairagya, is one of the healthiest habits we can develop if we want to live a balanced life and develop the mental, emotional, physical, and artistic stamina we need to prosper in our conducting careers.

In my emerging awareness on this concert day, I find it serendipitous that one of our pieces this evening is the popular Earth Song by Frank Ticheli.  I’ve programmed it before but for today, this group of singers, who I am in this moment, the words are even more instructive as I aim to be my best self:

“But music and singing have been my refuge,

And music and singing shall be my light.

A light of song, shining strong:  Alleluia!

Through darkness, pain, and strife, I’ll

Sing, Be, Live, See . . .”

Sing, Be, Live, See.  Ultimately, it is our choice how we want to spend our days and our human capital.  Make no mistake, I am ready for today’s rehearsals with final tweaks to get everyone to their best performance, but I am also taking some quiet time right now to come back to my truest self; to trust, let go, and be so that the singing will be a light for us all.

Dr. Ramona Wis is the Mimi Rolland Endowed Professor in the Fine Arts, Professor of Music, and Director of Choral Activities at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois and the author of The Conductor as Leader:  Principles of Leadership Applied to Life on the Podium.  Dr. Wis is a 500-hour CYT (Certified Yoga Teacher) and a certified Brain Longevity® Specialist, a research-based certification on yoga and integrative medicine for brain health and healthy aging. Reach her at: or ramonawis.com.