Choral Ethics: Gossip

“To a philosopher all news, as it is called, is gossip, and they who edit and read it are old women over their tea.” Henry David Thoreau

I’d like to revisit one of the staple issues of Choral Ethics today: Gossip. Recently I’ve gotten quite a few emails about gossip. If you’ve been reading Choral Ethics for any length of time, you know that I HATE GOSSIP. It seems the gossip and rumor mill is running overtime about music programs and community choruses across the country. I’ve told my correspondents to ignore the gossip if it is about them and their groups and not to join in if it isn’t.

It does no good to gossip about our colleagues and their ensembles.  It doesn’t help the arts community in general or the choral community specifically to “bad mouth” others. We are all in this together and the sooner we realize it and behave accordingly, the sooner we will reap the benefits.

We need to be supportive of each other, since if your group is doing well, my group should be as well. Many forget this truth. They attend concerts and gossip about the performance or the concert wear or who is doing what and how well WHILE THE CONCERT IS HAPPENING. They repeat gossip they hear to their friends and the truth, whatever it is, morphs into something unrecognizable, the victim of a game of “Telephone.” It might be “fun”, but it is damaging because it destroys good will. And art organizations, no matter if they are at church, school, or community level, need good will to survive.

I hate the gossip which surrounds some art organizations. I won’t tolerate gossip in my own rehearsals from singers about other groups, especially if they are former members of those other groups.  You won’t hear a bad word from me about my conducting colleagues or their choirs in public or private, but my family know my opinions.  I will nod or be non-committal when gossip swirls around me, but I won’t join in the “fun” no matter what. I know when the gossip is directed at me in my presence and I refuse to acknowledge it, I look stupid or naïve. If I say anything in retaliation or make an equally nasty comment, I will be sinking to their level.  And I will look as poorly as they do.  Better to be thought stupid than nasty!

There is a difference between networking and gossip.  If someone retires and there is an open position, it’s good to know. It’s also good to hear why the person is leaving so we can decide if we really want to apply. Whoever applies for the first job and then gets it will create another opening.  And so on, down the food chain of choral jobs. We’ve all heard stories about colleagues in our community: the “too big for his britches” fellow who got the plum church job and was asked to leave after eight months or the college conductor who retired and left a mess for his successor to clean up or the community chorus director who didn’t try to be a community member.  I never believe such stories unless I hear it from a person I respect.  I believe the church member/piano professor who was the one to let the church director go or the college conductor’s replacement. The alto with an attitude I don’t believe when she tells me the director was asked to leave for the simple reason, he didn’t attend the fund raiser!  I don’t repeat these stories to anyone because I don’t want to perpetuate gossip.  It’s not fair to my colleagues and I don’t want to get that reputation.