Beginnings: Stories and Curiosity

I hope that the beginning of the program year or school year is going well for you and that you’ve had several memorable and musical moments already with your choirs. As the new Director of Music Ministries at St. Andrew Presbyterian Church in Iowa City, Iowa, I’ve learned a ton already and will continue to do so over the next several months and beyond. I’m very excited to start choir rehearsals after Labor Day, although the schedule is still taking shape.

In my previous blog post, I mentioned that four quotes are guiding me this year:

“When we don’t examine the deeper assumptions behind why we gather, we end up skipping too quickly to replicating old, staid formats of gathering. And we forgo the possibility of creating something memorable, even transformative.” (Priya Parker)

“When we have the courage to walk into our story and own it, we get to write the ending.” (Brené Brown)

“Relationships are built at the speed of trust, and social change happens at the speed of relationships.” (Rev. Jennifer Bailey)

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” (James Clear)

Out of the four quotes that are guiding many of my decisions, the second one is the most challenging for me. Choir directors I highly respect show up as their authentic selves when leading rehearsals and conducting performances. It’s something I strive to do, although it takes a lot of vulnerability and internal examination. This involves spending time with my story and identifying the triumphs, the pain points, and everything in between. It is extremely uncomfortable to revisit events that did not go well or where I did not show up as my best self. On the hand, in my opinion, the more we’re rooted in our story, the deeper the music we can make with our ensembles and the more we give our ensemble members permission to be themselves.

On the flip side, it’s a very hopeful and empowering quote. The past does not dictate the future. On a small scale, if we find a rehearsal isn’t going well, we can make adjustments along the way to make a big difference. Or if a rehearsal felt horrible, we can make the next one better. On a larger scale, we can reflect on our own stories to understand our strengths and embrace our weaknesses. Just because we may be weak in a particular area does not mean that is automatically our future.

Spending time with our own story is a continual process of self-reflection and being honest with ourselves. In a similar way, from my perspective, it’s important to know the story of our choir programs as well as the larger organization. Especially as a new staff member at St. Andrew Presbyterian Church, I highly prioritize understanding the history of the congregation and the music ministry because anything I do is within a larger context. Understanding the story will help me understand values, strengths, and weaknesses in order to make the best decisions for the music ministry. Yesterday, I had the great fortunate of meeting my predecessor, who was extremely gracious. I asked him what were some anthems the Adult Choir knew really well. Thankfully, he gave me a list, which was invaluable since I choose a mix of familiar and unfamiliar anthems for ensembles at church. This bit of information will help immensely in my first year at St. Andrew.

Through all the introspection and inquiries, staying curious has helped enormously. With my own story, if I want to figure out lessons to be learned from situations, I may ask myself “Why did that scenario happen?” If an event or comment had or has me emotionally hooked, I do my best to remember to be curious about why that was the case. Simply being curious about my own situations have helped me get emotionally unhooked and helped me learn more about myself.

Regarding starting a new position, I’ve been asking a lot of questions along the lines of “Could you tell me more about…”, “What is the background of….?”, or “Could you say more about…?” Staying curious has helped me take the role of the learner, more accurately give me the best information to make informed decisions, and avoid jumping to conclusions. Even after the initial stages of getting to know the congregation, I believe that staying curious will help avoid misunderstandings, assumptions, and jumping to conclusions.

Has curiosity helped you at your church or school? If so, comment below!