Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Overwhelmed

“Sometimes when you’re overwhelmed by a situation – when you’re in the darkest of darkness – that’s when your priorities are reordered.” Phoebe Snow

Sometimes I search for the epigraph for my ChoralEthics blogs before I write them and other times, after. I usually know exactly what, or whose, quote I want but many times I do not. Today’s epigraph was chosen after my email correspondence had been completed with my ChoralNetter subject, but just before I began writing. It is perfect for today’s blog.

Ginny* is happy to tell you things are getting back to “normal” in her neck of the woods. COVID cases are down, vaccinations are up, and restrictions are slowly but surely being lifted. Her community chorus is back, full time, with all its usual concerts. Her church job is almost back-to-normal, but with a few restrictions still in place due to the denomination’s policies. All in all, she should be happy, right?

What Ginny is not so happy to tell you, is that she has felt overwhelmed and tense and not good as things were beginning to open up during the past few months. She wished things would fall into place a bit slower because she did not feel ready. Not ready to be full time again, not ready to jump back in feet first, not ready to resume all the busyness and craziness that was her life before COVID. And she felt guilty for feeling the way she did.

Ginny tells me she decided it was GOOD she felt the way she did since it forced her to get her priorities straight. Once she realized she was overwhelmed, Ginny stepped back and took a look at how she could lessen her stress. Before getting right back in the thick of it, it seemed like a good time to take a breath and figure it out. She made a simple list of priorities and that has also made a difference.

Her family—husband, daughter, her parents, and In-Laws—are at the top of her priority list. Too long has she allowed non-urgent choral issues to interfere in her family life. Last spring, when her Chorus Board came to her with concert dates for this year, she asked to change two dates so they would not conflict with her daughter’s important birthday and her parent’s significant anniversary. The Board was willing to work with her and seemed pleased to be able to be flexible. They resolved to do so every concert year and that made Ginny feel happy and less stressed. It was something she always thought about asking about with concert date selection, but never did.

Music is also at the top of her priority list. She has been swayed, both by her community chorus and her church job, to do music she didn’t feel was worthy or appropriate. She has decided to program only composers she feels good about and is trying to use a lot more living composers than she has in the past. She will remain firm in her resolve, no matter what anyone “suggests” from now on.

During one of the lockdowns, Ginny developed a streamlined schedule for music rehearsals. She implemented it last spring as her community chorus began to rehearse again and it seemed to work well. Before COVID, she always felt rushed and running around to get everything covered by concert time or for a particular holiday service. Now she tells me she feels much better and on top of things. Her spring concert and Lent, Holy Week and Easter services were proof that most of her ideas for her ensembles worked. Advance preparation is key, something she never thought about before. Thirty minutes or so (per piece) is worth the several hours total it takes to do the preparations. She blocked out prep time during the summer and, as rehearsals have begun, can tell things will be good.

There was a head-cold outbreak in her church choir right after Labor Day. In years past, she would have encouraged everyone to tough it out, but instead told her singers to stay home and get well. Ginny played, instead of the choir singing, for two weeks. Now she vows she will always, always, ALWAYS have a “Plan B” and that has helped reduce her feelings of being overwhelmed. That, I believe, is excellent advice.

Next week, Choral Ethics will have a Guest Blogger. Stay well until then!

*Name Withheld