Enabling Transformative Experiences: Comparison is the Thief of Joy

With Holy Week and Easter Sunday in the rearview mirror, I’m already starting to wind down for the season and anticipating summer activities. This year has had its share of ups and downs. I’m feeling weary and definitely in the need for vacation and other rejuvenating experiences. Perhaps you feel the same.

I was reading some earlier blog posts from this year and I almost felt some déjà vu. In September, I mentioned that one day I was at the beach and the waves were too rough to swim. Since the beginning of spring, I’ve gone to the beach more regularly. However, the ocean has been a little too rough to swim in for my taste.

So I often sit and watch the ocean, read, or at times stood ankle deep in the water. Since I live 25 – 30 minutes from the Atlantic Ocean in Jacksonville, FL, I’ve been to the beach many times. I was reminded that sometimes the waves feel like they’re going to drown us. Other times, it’s smooth sailing. Right now, it feels like life’s waves are rougher rather than smoother. Perhaps you can relate.

The hymn O God Our Help in Ages Past came to mind. Here is an excellent rendition of an arrangement by Jeremy Bankson from First Plymouth Church in Lincoln, Nebraska.

A book that helped me survive some rough patches was The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. On page 3, I found a passage to be particularly insightful. “When we don’t examine the deeper assumptions behind why we gather, we end up skipping too quickly to replicating old, staid formats of gathering. And we forgo the possibility of creating something memorable, even transformative.” While the book doesn’t mention choral conducting or rehearsals, there are so many concepts in the book that can transform rehearsals and each piece my choirs sing.

Here is a TED talk she gave that illustrates her wisdom:

Looking back at my purposes for the year, I haven’t been consistent with all of them. However, I’ve been mostly satisfied with one of the priorities I set back in August: “Enable transformational experiences in rehearsals and in worship”. Yes, there were ups and downs and sometimes I didn’t always hit the mark. On the other hand, there have been some incredible transformational experiences this year.

Throughout the year, I’ve kept the following saying in my head: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Oftentimes, I’ve heard it in context of comparing myself to another singer or comparing a choir I direct to a choir at a different organization. Especially since there are so many choral performances online, it’s so tempting to think or ask “I wish I had that many singers” or “Why can’t my choir sound like that or do that kind of repertoire? I can’t seem to get it together.” Whoever our singers are, they are deserving of our very best energy and teaching. While the balance of our ensembles may not be what we wish, or we yearn to do certain types of repertoire, we can help enable our choirs to have inspiring, emotional experiences. We can teach technique, musicality, etc. no matter the repertoire we choose. Those are things we can rejoice in.

I’ve also thought of another context of “Comparison is the thief of joy”. Especially with the pandemic having disrupted so much, it is so easy to compare our current situation to “back then”. Perhaps our numbers in our choirs may have diminished. Perhaps we haven’t been able to do certain types of large-scale musical events because of protocols related to the pandemic. Since I’m in a full-time church setting, I can focus and communicate to my choir members that God moves and speaks in this time period. Today. In each rehearsal and worship service. The more I can do to communicate that message, the more I believe that singers are less tempted to make those comparisons to a former time. And the more singers can focus on God and lead the congregation in worship.

As it is the Easter season, I thought I would include a link for one of my favorite Adult Choir pieces: With a Voice of Singing by Martin Shaw. With all its Alleluias and the message, it is a joyful and lively piece. May you find strength and wisdom to lead your choirs faithfully at this point in the program year.