(This is the fourth installment of a five-part series on choral ethics, exploring what it means to be ethical in this often unethical business.)
“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.” Mark Twain
Almost fifteen years ago, I had a wonderful church job and directed a community children’s chorus….but I wanted more musically. I began auditioning for some “plum” jobs. I had the education and experience but before this, the opportunity to audition for those types of jobs had not presented itself in my own community. I began the rounds of interviews and auditions, some for long established programs, and always made it to the last round. I got one of the three jobs I auditioned for—a newly established community children’s choir—but didn’t get the others.
Of the two positions I did not get, one was probably over reaching for me but they let me down so kindly, I did not mind. The other position would have been a very good fit for me, for the community and for their organization as well. This was an established choral organization and was considered to be a premier group. I did not get the job for reasons having nothing to do with me or my ability. Knowing what I know now, my not getting the job the first time–and my two subsequent auditions after–had more to do with the “in fighting” within the structure of their Board of Directors, I just happened to be an innocent bystander. I have never been treated so poorly in an audition. There were nasty comments, inappropriate questions and snide remarks. The fall after my first audition, the position was again available and I was asked to reapply. I had hoped the administration or situation had changed but if anything, they treated me slightly worse than the year before. The following year, the position was open again and I was called by the organization’s accompanist to apply. Since the accompanist called me and others in the organization seemed to want me, I couldn’t imagine being treated any worse, but I was. My instincts finally kicked in and told me the people running those awful auditions thought it was “professional” to be as nasty, demeaning and dismissive as possible.
I am sharing this story not to complain about my treatment by that organization or to tell you I should have gotten that job; I am confessing. My behavior after those three awful auditions was not stellar. I found myself bad mouthing the organization in public or to anyone who would listen. I looked small and petty to those I complained to and instead of being sympathetic; I am sure they were uncomfortable and lost respect for me. I was horrified at myself. One of the reasons I was horrified was it was exactly opposite to how I was raised and of me, as a person. And I didn’t like it. It was then I decided I needed to do an overhaul of my own behavior.
I began to think about my behavior in a new way and imagined myself in the very position of that choral organization. My reaction to their treatment was an honest one. If they had treated me differently– the way the other organization had–I would not have gossiped about them in public. I would have graciously accepted NOT getting the position and moved on. In a way, I was primed to behave the way I did.
In short, I believe we reap what we sow. As a result, I am never nasty to someone I audition and reject, or even to a singer whom I have to ask to leave my ensemble. If you audition for me, I will calmly tell you if you did or did not make it when I told you I would and explain our audition protocol so there is no misunderstanding. I have to believe my treatment of those who audition for me, if unkind or petulant, will come back to bite me. I try to do right and by doing so, am preventing a world of future bad feelings. And those bad feelings can linger for years.
Marie Grass Amenta says
Lucy Hudson Stembridge says
Rachel Gilmore says