Lessons from Mistakes

Two publications recently caught my attention related to the concept of learning from mistakes.

In a September 14 New York Times article entitled “What if the Secret to Success Is Failure?”, Paul Tough references the work of David Levin, co-founder of the KIPP network of charter schools, who spent years investigating how to provide lessons in character to his students. As Levin watched student progress he noticed the students who persisted in college were not necessarily the ones who had excelled academically; they were the ones with exceptional character strengths, like optimism and persistence and social intelligence. They were the ones able to recover from a bad grade and resolve to do better next time; to bounce back from a fight with their parents; to persuade professors to give them extra help after class. Those skills seemed to be an indispensable part of making it to graduation day. The lesson to me was, “rebounding from mistakes builds character and success.”

In a separate publication, Alina Tugend’s new book Better by Mistake draws on in-depth research and behavioral studies to demonstrate that mistakes are everywhere, and when we admit to them, identify them correctly, and learn from them, we improve ourselves and our families, our work, and the world around us. Her book includes what the medical and aviation fields have taught about the best ways to respond to errors, how and why men and women react differently to mistakes, and how other cultures approach the concept of mistakes. Alina explains the downside of striving for perfection and the rewards of acknowledging and embracing imperfection.

We have always heard the axiom that we learn from our mistakes, but most of my life is spent avoiding them at all cost. It is a painful and humbling exercise, but after reading these publications, this week I challenged myself to do it: I asked, “What are the Top 5 mistakes I have made.” Making myself dredge up those thoughts was not easy, but it has been a good exercise as I analyzed the important character-building lessons learned from those mistakes. Sure, I was able to give good reasons for those mistakes, and in some cases, how the mistake was unavoidable, but those rationales are not the point. The point is, “what did I learn?” Try it for yourself: it is a tension worth creating.