The Zen Rejection

It’s a new academic year brimming with possibilities!  Are you excited?

 

Are you ready to get into that all familiar habit of overcommitting at the beginning of the year and then finding yourself awash with too much to do in the time you have available?

 

Zen Habits gives us some reasons we find it difficult to say NO to people:

 

To learn to say “No”, we have to first understand what’s resisting us about it. Below are common reasons why people find it hard to say no:

1. You want to help. You are a kind soul at heart. You don’t want to turn the person away and you want to help where possible, even if it may eat into your time.
2. Afraid of being rude. I was brought up under the notion that saying “No”, especially to people who are more senior, is rude. This thinking is common in Asia culture, where face-saving is important. Face-saving means not making others look bad (a.k.a losing face).
3. Wanting to be agreeable. You don’t want to alienate yourself from the group because you’re not in agreement. So you confirm to others’ requests.

 

And then the blog gives us some good strategies for declining:

 

 

1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.”

2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?”

3. “I’d love to do this, but …”

Read the whole post here.