Choral Apathy

I have to admit that when I received my acceptance call from the University, after the initial shock from that message died down, the FIRST thing that popped into my head was: “That means I can’t go to Italy.” 🙁 Interesting reading today – a choir member is accepted into a graduate program and has to miss the yearly choir competition: For a second I felt like declining my Masters acceptance! I realize that may sound a bit sick to some of you readers . . . I have slowly come to term with the fact that I won’t be able to go, trying to find trivial details to make me feel better like “That means I don’t have to fundraise like crazy this year! Whoot $2500 saved!”, “Nobody knows where Seghizzi is anyway!”, and “The performance venue doesn’t look that nice”. All in attempt to placate my silently suffering self.

 

I have never been through such a bout of choral apathy. It is a deadly thing. It’s the crippling unmotivation that is getting me. I feel like I have nothing to work towards this year. Why should I memorize that piece? I won’t be able to sing it anyway. Why should I go to that performance? I don’t need performance experience anyway. Maybe it’s even better for me not to sing since I’m just throwing off the group balance that actually will be touring. I’ve always known it’s important to have a common goal in choir, whether it is for a particular concert or competition, but once that end goal is no longer in sight, it’s hard to motivate yourself to continue what you’re doing. We all need something to drive us and inspire us to be better. When that stimulus is gone… we’re directionless.