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The Conductor as Yogi: Dare to Pause

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“Few things are so pressing that they cannot wait for a moment of breath.”

T.K.V. Desikachar

Maybe you have had this conversation, usually with family or friends who are not in music or in teaching:

Them:  “Are you on break now?  How nice that you have all that time off!”

Us:  “Oh, I am never really off.  There’s always programming for the next concert and score study and all the management and . . . .” (our list goes on).

There’s certainly truth in our response.  Before we can walk into that first rehearsal after “break,” we have to choose repertoire and take the time to order it or find it in our libraries or arrange it for our imbalanced ensemble.  We have to manage our rosters (who is returning? who has not answered my emails?), our spaces, our budgets, and our protocols (ever evolving).  Even if you are the ultimate planner and make lots of decisions in the summer ahead of the season beginning, there are always tasks to be managed and surprises along the way.

What “break?”

My usual strategy has been to devote some time every day to work, getting the structure in place for the semester and concerts ahead and communicating with singers and others, where needed, in order to hit the ground running when we return.  My intent in this daily practice is to spread out the work, to avoid an avalanche of tasks at the last minute. Generally, this works for me.

But there is a downside to this strategy, one that I have become more and more aware of.

Without any true pause in the workflow, we never really experience restoration— a physical, mental, and emotional “clearing,” a release from the decision making and time in our heads and in front of our devices that characterize our lives.  Without a separation from the endless task list, we train ourselves to be “on” at every moment, to never fully let go, and to see life from one perspective: do.  Without a pause we just keep churning it out and so, when we return to our teaching and conducting schedule “after the break” we feel like we never had one.  Like we have been conducting one long musical piece that has no rests. Not one. Can you imagine how anxious and heavy we would feel with a piece like that, especially if it lasted for hours or days or weeks or months?

Yes, the ebb and flow of tempo, the variation in dynamics, the change of key—they all offer some modulation in our feeling state.  But it is the rests in the score, the silence between movements, or in our mindfulness experience, the pause at the top of the inhale or bottom of the exhale, where something really powerful happens.  Where we move from external to internal awareness, where we realize the effect of the action, and where creativity and insight and rebuilding of energy can take place.

Dare to pause.  To truly detach, to stop, to observe, to sit. Trust that the space in time and heart and mind will bring what you need and surprise you in ways you cannot envision when constantly working.  For a moment, or several moments during the day, or (most challenging), several days during the break, take a true pause.  You might find that it punctuates everything else you do, giving it greater meaning and leading to a deeper experience, just like that artfully placed rest in the music where it all makes perfect sense.

Dr. Ramona Wis is the Mimi Rolland Endowed Professor in the Fine Arts, Professor of Music, and Director of Choral Activities at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois and the author of The Conductor as Leader:  Principles of Leadership Applied to Life on the Podium.  Dr. Wis is a 500-hour CYT (Certified Yoga Teacher) with training in yoga history, philosophy, meditation, energetics, pranayama (breath work), anatomy, Sanskrit, and the teaching, sequencing, and adaptations of asana (posture-based) practice. Reach her at: 

 

The Conductor as Yogi: It Does Not Go Unnoticed

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We made it through the semester.  Our return to in-person music making.  I have been reading our singers’ reflection papers, their one-page response to three prompts:  What did you learn musically?  What did you learn beyond the music?  What suggestions do you have for the future?

On music, they wrote about re-learning how to sing with others, to blend their voices and listen in new ways, mask and all.  About challenges and successes relative to the sight-reading skills they are dusting off (or never really had) and about stepping up to the level of collegiate singing.  Suggestions include more chamber group singing (something we did as part of our post-concert assessment) but it’s the “what did you learn beyond the music” responses that really struck me, especially those about the breathing, mindfulness, and yoga-informed practices that I have been writing about and encourage you to explore with your singers.  Here are some of their comments (used by permission, names have been changed):

Chloe:  Beyond the music, I learned that moments of stillness throughout my day are just as important as being productive. When we would begin class with meditation and stretches, I noticed a difference in my attitude. I often would come to class tired and stressed but would leave feeling refreshed and happy. I have realized just how essential rest can be for my mental well-being, and I thank you for that!

Margo:  I’ve also carried our yoga skills into my daily life; I find myself doing some deep breathing and stretches when I’m stressed and need a break.

Michael:  I have also learned how to take better care of myself through different yoga exercises and mindsets. Remembering to breathe out everything I do not need in my mind/body, and to breathe in fresh air and peace has been extra present in my mind this semester. I have also been taking bigger breaths in our yoga exercises, which I think has carried over to being ready to sing well-supported.

 Amy:  I’ve learned so much about the connection between body and mind and about how beneficial it truly is for wellness, even after just doing a couple sun salutations before each rehearsal.

Kayla:  Another skill I learned this semester was self-awareness. A few times you asked us to listen to ourselves while also listening to the choir as a whole and that helped me become more aware of my contributions. In addition, I have continued to use this skill in other aspects of my life. I will ask myself “what is my role here?” and “how do I fit into this group?”

Liam:  By focusing my energy to the music, I was able to enjoy the music much more. I think that this goes for anything: if I spend the time learning something and remove all distractions, I can be much more productive.

Anne:  Choir has also taught me how important our mental and physical wellbeing is in relation to our vocal and musical wellbeing. Whenever we would do sun salutations or short meditation exercises to ground ourselves and centralize our breathing, I would always notice how much more ready I felt for the musical lessons we would then go on to learn and for the rest of my day in its entirety. Even just a few moments of time to myself to not worry about any deadlines, obligations, or extraneous stresses and simply allow my body and mind to refresh were cause for replenishment in every aspect. This is not only important to remember in terms of choir, but also in terms of life. We are our one constant in our own lives, so we must do all we can to take care of ourselves along the way.

Kendra:  This taught me a lesson that was important both in and out of a music context: that growth is not always linear. In my personal life I also found I was learning this as well this semester. With the return to in-person choir, with everything else, I found that I had lost some of the stamina I had developed pre-pandemic. This was frustrating to me at first, as I have always held myself to a high standard of consistent growth. However, I began to realize that growth does not always need to look like doing more, being more, but that growth can sometimes just look like being and that that can be enough.

 As conductors, we hope that our teaching “sticks,” that singers learn at least the big things and that their experience is meaningful.  But now, more than ever, we can be discouraged with the heaviness of life, with the limitations and challenges and uncertainty and fatigue.  With decreased numbers and increased protocols.  Does what we do really matter?  Is there growth, musical and otherwise? Are we crazy to try new ideas, to take different approaches when the ground below us seems to shift every moment? Are we making a difference?  Do our singers understand what we are trying to do on their behalf?

Maybe Sage’s comment says it all.  Though she sent it to me, I extend it to all of you because I think it reflects what may not be said by your singers, yet is deeply felt:

Thank you for everything you did this term and continue to do for us. It does not go unnoticed.

As we end this season and prepare for the next, take a moment to rest and reflect and know that this work of your life matters.  Not just what you do, but who you are, impacts every person who is fortunate to be in your path.  And remember, even in the hardest times, we learn and grow and feed our soul, too.  So if you are wondering whether this is all worth it, trust, take a breath, and keep going.  It does not go unnoticed.

Dr. Ramona Wis is the Mimi Rolland Endowed Professor in the Fine Arts, Professor of Music, and Director of Choral Activities at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois and the author of The Conductor as Leader:  Principles of Leadership Applied to Life on the Podium.  Dr. Wis is a 500-hour CYT (Certified Yoga Teacher) with training in yoga history, philosophy, meditation, energetics, pranayama (breath work), anatomy, Sanskrit, and the teaching, sequencing, and adaptations of asana (posture-based) practice. Reach her at: 

The Conductor as Yogi: Speed Trap

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In this age of rush, nothing is more critical than moving slowly.  

~Tias Little~

Tias Little is an internationally known yoga teacher and brilliant writer.  His most recent book, The Practice is the Path (2020) is a compelling read, even if you don’t practice yoga.  His explorations include emptying before you begin, right effort, not knowing, and more, but it was his chapter on how speed gets trapped in the body that really hit me.

“We are a culture of speed,” Little begins.  “In the accelerated pace of today’s world, the body’s physiological rhythms are amped up.” (37)  Speed disrupts circulatory flow, electrochemical signals, and the movement of fluids, and throws off digestion, sleep, hormonal balance, and respiration, “compromising the body’s capacity to self-correct or self-regulate.”  He continues:

“When caught in pressurized speed traps of stress and overwork, the body’s homeostasis is disturbed. With speed trapped in the body, we are prone to sleeplessness, hypertension, inflammation, autoimmune disease, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic pain, and erratic temper. . . . Speed constricts the heart while amplifying pressure in the circulatory vessels throughout the body.” (38)

Just reading this made me stop what I was doing and slow my breathing.  We know all about being busy and we know being rushed doesn’t feel good, but have we made the connection between the speed of modern life and the physical changes in our body?  And are we conscious of the triggers that kick us into speed mode, into our own form of frenzy, even when we appear to be in control to a watching world?

Speed trapped in our body saps our energy, clouds our thinking, presses us to make poor decisions (or “freeze” and make none at all), and limits our creativity.  Habitual rushing teaches us to “hurry even when we have nowhere to go” (40) so we grab our phone to check what happened since the last time we looked (30 seconds ago) and we create unnecessary tasks when we have a free five minutes, instead of just taking a pause.

In the long term, speed can cause or worsen a whole host of health conditions.  Speed can compromise relationships with ourselves and others.  A rushed life prevents us from operating at the level of our true selves because we have not slowed down enough to remember who we are and to create healthy boundaries that bring us back into balance.

“One of the primary aims of a regular self-care practice is to help reset the body’s internal clock and support its regulatory functioning.  This requires, first and foremost, slowing down.” (43)

I know, you “just don’t have time right now.”  But having time is more about self-awareness and decision making; even (maybe mostly) in changing the way we think.  Moving from reactive to mindful, from externally imposed to internally chosen, significantly changes how we feel and how our body responds to busyness.

Without slowing down to breathe and think clearly, we spin our wheels and create more work for ourselves.  Unless we carve out focused time for an important task or relationship, we can’t go deep enough to see the challenge and begin to know how to meet it.  And until we acknowledge our speed-driven life, we allow our destiny to be determined by . . . who, exactly?

“In an age of speed . . . nothing could be more invigorating than going slow.  In an age of distraction, nothing can feel more luxurious than paying attention. And in an age of constant movement,                                             nothing is more urgent than sitting still.”

~Pico Iyer~

It’s time to change our perspective on speed, to slow down enough to live our lives well.  This requires us to release our grasp on control or the appearance of importance (“I’m so busy . . .”).  It means facing what might await us when we take the time we think we don’t have.  But slow can be healing, insightful, even, as Little calls it, “exhilarating.”

Take a slow breath. Look at someone and be present.  Pause a moment before you respond.  Unclench and stop gripping.  Move your phone out of sight.  Find a place you can go to remove distractions, even if it is your bathroom.  Quit thinking “I’m always behind.”  Say no to something you don’t really need or want to do.  Stop owning other people’s emergencies.  Plan well and then let go.  Be selective in your comments to singers in rehearsal, rather than racing through so many directives that they—and you—can’t keep up.  Do. One. Thing.

Rollo May wrote, “It is an old and ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way.”  Life will not make time for us; we must make time for life.  Let’s resist the culture of speed, slow down, and find our way again.

Dr. Ramona Wis is the Mimi Rolland Endowed Professor in the Fine Arts, Professor of Music, and Director of Choral Activities at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois and the author of The Conductor as Leader:  Principles of Leadership Applied to Life on the Podium.  Dr. Wis is a 500-hour CYT (Certified Yoga Teacher) with training in yoga history, philosophy, meditation, energetics, pranayama (breath work), anatomy, Sanskrit, and the teaching, sequencing, and adaptations of asana (posture-based) practice. Reach her at: 

Check out:

The Practice is the Path:  Lessons and Reflections on the Transformative Power of Yoga by Tias Little

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1611807379/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_B9NJE8R40349W84EV4XP

The Art of Stillness:  Adventures in Going Nowhere by Pico Iyer, quote, pg. 66

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1476784728/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_KNYTZWRYV1Z90ZMVQR36

Laughter is great medicine—check out this classic clip to help you “slow down:”

https://youtu.be/uNmnroyJSzo

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Conductor as Yogi: Regaining Sense-Ability

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Our first brisk fall morning.  Do I really want to go for a walk when it’s 43 degrees?  (Pause) Well, want isn’t the right word, but I know I’ll benefit so I dig out the thermal running gear and as Grandma Nike says, “just do it.”

Cold air hits my face, my breath feels thankfully warm, and I start to get in my body, feeling my limbs loosen with each rhythmic step inside my shoes.  Soon I notice the changing landscape and enjoy the bright sun.  I “hear quiet,” less sound, fewer distractions.  I am waking up—not just from sleep, but from my lack of awareness.  From the imbalance that marks modern life, the swing that goes from numbness to overdrive.

The impact of the last year and a half can leave us numb, “stuck” in thought and action.  But we can also find ourselves supercharged by trying to create yet another new normal or because the constant barrage of news, demands on our time and attention, and even the happy busyness of life keep us spinning in all directions.  Through it all, we are “losing our senses”—our capacity to feel, and to manage sensory input.  We are losing our sense-ability.

The senses—what we taste, smell, hear, see, and feel through touch—are avenues of awareness and connection.  From perceiving the outside world to understanding our inner world, the senses help us navigate life and our place in it.  In balance, they help us to enjoy richer experiences (think good food eaten slowly or beautiful music) and to flow more intuitively between the moments in our days.  Out of balance, our senses lead to stress (from reactive multi-tasking and constant notifications) or dis-ease (a bloated stomach from mindless eating or a hopeless outlook from over ingesting news).

Regaining our sense-ability starts by gently awakening the senses.  When we look, are we really seeing?  When we hear, are we listening with discrimination? Do we really feel the breath we take, taste the food we eat, and notice the smells around us?

Try this five-minute exercise to awaken your senses.  Sit comfortably; lower your gaze or gently close your eyes.  Hear these words as though you are being guided.  Leave time between prompts to breathe, releasing one sense before moving on to the next.  When done, slowly open your eyes and come back to your surroundings:

“What do you taste (lingerings of toothpaste or the morning coffee? . . . )

What do you smell (perfume or exhaust from a nearby car? . . . )

What do you hear (birds chirping or the faint hum of the overhead lights? . . . )

What do you see (light behind your eyelids or an image in your mind’s eye? . . . )

What do you feel (the seat of the chair or warmth of your breath? . . . )

Take a few minutes to release all the senses, come inward, and just breathe.”

This awareness exercise helps sharpen our acuity.  By focusing on each sense, we remember and activate more of its full power.  To feel fully alive, we need awakened senses, as I experienced on that brisk morning walk.

Regaining our sense-ability also requires us to manage our sensory input because what we let in of the external world leaves an imprint on our internal world. Coming inward during this exercise balances our breath and nervous system and returns us to a truer version of ourselves.  This is the practice of Pratyahara, the fifth limb of yoga.  Defined as withdrawal of the senses or gaining mastery over external influences, pratyahara is the link between yoga’s first four (outer) limbs and last three (inner) limbs.  We practice pratyahara when we tune out the external world; when we choose how and when to respond to sensory stimulation, so we are not controlled by every email ping, graphic image, difficult conversation, or commercial for the biggest burger.

Regaining our sense-ability has practical application to our work.  Artists are sense makers.  We are in the business of creatively sensing and helping others to do the same.  We need keen awareness to shape the sound and experience we desire but will always be challenged by external factors that can take us off center and launch us into panic mode or leave us numbly staring into space (what’s your default response?).  Know yourself, know what you need, and come back to your senses.  And teach your singers to do the same.

Time to regain our sense-ability.  To be and to share our wholly, wonderfully human selves.

Dr. Ramona Wis is the Mimi Rolland Endowed Professor in the Fine Arts, Professor of Music, and Director of Choral Activities at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois and the author of The Conductor as Leader:  Principles of Leadership Applied to Life on the Podium.  Dr. Wis is a 500-hour CYT (Certified Yoga Teacher) with training in yoga history, philosophy, meditation, energetics, pranayama (breath work), anatomy, Sanskrit, and the teaching, sequencing, and adaptations of asana (posture-based) practice. Reach her at: 

 Check out these guided sense meditations:

https://youtu.be/v0cHm7WnLbo

https://youtu.be/azG_EHKRqmk

https://youtu.be/vQXEfmlCkns

A good read on yoga’s fifth limb, Pratyahara:

https://yogainternational.com/article/view/pratyahara-yogas-forgotten-limb

 

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