Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Reaping What We Sow

“Always do right.  This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.” Mark Twain

I believe in Karma.  Oh, I don’t know if I would really call it that, exactly. I feel if you do something good, it usually comes back to you.  If you do something bad, it can come back to you as well.  In a Christian sense, I believe you “reap what you sow”. This is why I try so hard to be ethical and honest and nice in my dealings with singers and musicians and anyone I have to work with regularly. It doesn’t take any special effort and it can make a difference.  “Good will out” has happened to me over and over. In my musical life, I try to do good by keeping my eye out for other people–if I hear of a job that would be perfect for someone I know, I tell them.  Or recommend them–even those who I know don’t like me.  I think if I do ‘good’ in some fashion it will return to me.  And, in many ways, it has. In my travels, I try to never say anything bad if I can help it, at least not in public. Perhaps others feel differently, but I will always take the high road if I can. And if I can’t, I try to be as kind as possible. My mother used to tell me to “be nice”……be nice to neighbors, classmates, those who needed our help, teachers and my grandma.  She expected us to not “be ugly” by talking about people behind their backs or excluding someone just for spite. I have tried to carry that over to my adult life, but in the music business it is easier said than done.  And it took a bit of soul searching to finally come to that conclusion.

Almost fifteen years ago, I had a wonderful church job and directed a community children’s chorus….but I wanted more musically. I began auditioning for some “plum” jobs. I had the education and experience but before this, the opportunity to audition for those types of jobs had not presented itself in my own community.  I began the rounds of interviews and auditions, some for long established programs, and always made it to the last round.  I got one of the three jobs I auditioned for—a newly established community children’s choir—but didn’t get the others.

Of the two positions I did not get, one was probably over reaching for me but they let me down so kindly, I did not mind. The other position would have been a very good fit for me, for the community and for their organization as well. This was an established choral organization and was considered to be a premier group. I did not get the job for reasons having nothing to do with me or my ability. Knowing what I know now, my not getting the job the first time–and my two subsequent auditions after–had more to do with the “in fighting” within the structure of their Board of Directors, I just happened to be an innocent bystander.  I have never been treated so poorly in an audition. There were nasty comments, inappropriate questions and snide remarks.  The fall after my first audition, the position was again available and I was asked to reapply.  I had hoped the administration or situation had changed but if anything, they treated me slightly worse than the year before. The following year, the position was open again and I was called by the organization’s accompanist to apply.  Since the accompanist called me and others in the organization seemed to want me, I couldn’t imagine being treated any worse, but I was.  My instincts finally kicked in and told me the people running those awful auditions thought it was “professional” to be as nasty, demeaning and dismissive as possible.

I am sharing this story not to complain about my treatment by that organization or to tell you I should have gotten that job; I am confessing.  My behavior after those three awful auditions was not stellar. I found myself bad mouthing the organization in public or to anyone who would listen.  I looked small and petty to those I complained to and instead of being sympathetic; I am sure they were uncomfortable and lost respect for me. I was horrified at myself.  One of the reasons I was horrified was it was exactly opposite to how I was raised and of me, as a person.  And I didn’t like it.  It was then I decided I needed to do an overhaul of my own behavior.

I began to think about my behavior in a new way and imagined myself in the very position of that choral organization.  My reaction to their treatment was an honest one. If they had treated me differently– the way the other organization had–I would not have gossiped about them in public. I would have graciously accepted NOT getting the position and moved on. In a way, I was primed to behave the way I did.

In short, I believe we reap what we sow. As a result, I am never nasty to someone I audition and reject, or even to a singer whom I have to ask to leave my ensemble.  If you audition for me, I will calmly tell you if you did or did not make it when I told you I would and explain our audition protocol so there is no misunderstanding.  I have to believe my treatment of those who audition for me, if unkind or petulant, will come back to bite me. I try to do right and by doing so, am preventing a world of future bad feelings. And those bad feelings can linger for years.

At present, I conduct a community chamber choir and in a community setting, there are several other organizations in subtle competition with my own ensemble.  I try to be a booster of those groups, going so far as organizing a consortium of sorts of all of our groups a few years ago.  I try to always say something nice about the others since we are all different groups, with different types of singers with different interests but with probably the same general audience.  That one time I didn’t say something nice has haunted me and is one of the reasons I began looking at choral ethic models.  I’ve always tried to be a good person, a nice person but the last few years as I have really put my choral ethics code into constant practice, I am amazed by the way I am perceived.  I ignore the snarky comments, the little jabs others think are fine to make and I am made to feel stupid by not responding.  If they only knew!