Choral Potpourri: Choral Ethics; Don’t Waste My Time!

“If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.” Benjamin Franklin

I am ticked this week for a number of reasons. My chamber choir is in the midst of their spring audition cycle and I have had two singers who wanted to audition for my choir blow me off—twice—in the last few weeks. We schedule individual, private audition appointments and try to be flexible. Occasionally, I get someone who takes advantage of that fact. But two in two weeks—oy veh!

One person called an hour after their scheduled time, all apologetic, and begged to reschedule, so I did. They (again) called more than three hours after the second appointment and wanted to reschedule. I told them no. This did not sit well. They were furious when I told them my time is worth something and they had wasted it twice.

The second person could only audition on a certain day, at a certain time. It was a bit of a hassle for me, but I made it work. The person didn’t come when they said they would and I waited for an hour; no show. They called the next day and we rescheduled. Again; no show. I haven’t heard anything back from them and am relived! I don’t particularly like being treated as if my time isn’t precious.

Did you ever notice those who are perpetually late or who don’t show up when they say they will are the same people who behave as if your time isn’t as important as theirs?

Amy* told me she was a bit afraid to contact me. She was worried I would think her problem wasn’t a problem. Amy had no way of knowing I had been in her shoes more than once in my career.

A mother of two young children, Amy has two part-time jobs. She is the director of choirs at a small church and directs a community children’s choir. As part of those jobs, she is required to attend committee and board meetings regularly. She also has a regular once-a-month staff meeting at the church.

Her staff meetings are not the problem. It is usually the same Wednesday morning every month, except when Easter and Holy Week fall either right before or right after the Wednesday. That meeting is rescheduled so everyone, from church secretary to clergy to musicians to sexton, can be on the same page for Holy Week and Easter. The staff knows when their rescheduled meeting will be almost a year in advance because, at their Lenten meeting, they look at the next year’s calendar and choose the date. The clergy respects everyone’s time and for that, Amy is grateful.

Amy attends her Children’s Choir’s Board meetings regularly. It irks her that half of the board is late with no apologies but expects to be brought up to speed when they walk in. This takes time and often causes the scheduled 90 minute meeting to extend to two hours. Amy has young children and often must leave at a certain time due to childcare issues or needs to pick up a child from Brownies or other activities. She is made to feel guilty for needing to leave when the meeting is scheduled to end, mostly by members of that “Late” Board club! It is those same Board members who bring their children late to rehearsal and then complain their kids don’t know their music. Amy feels her time is not being respected—as well as the Board members who are on time and children whose parents get them there at the beginning of rehearsal– when they come late to a meeting or bring their child after rehearsal has begun.

I understand Amy’s dilemma and gave her some advice. I always tell people I am flexible, except when I’m not. I’ve been using that line myself in similar situations for a long, long time. It does two things. One, it makes people think about what you’ve just said. And two, it is the truth. Oh, and it’s time to think about a tardy policy for that choir!

*Name Withheld