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Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Choral Ethics for This Time

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“My sorrow, when she’s here with me, thinks these dark days of autumn rain are beautiful as days can be; she loves the bare, the withered tree; she walks the sodden pasture lane.” Robert Frost

During the month of September, Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics has been reviewing what Choral Ethics is and its relevance to our profession, now more than ever. During the tough times we are going through with the COVID-19 Pandemic, self-reflection seems like a good idea. Today I blog a bit of what I’ve learned about Choral Ethics.

I have been writing about Choral Ethics for five years now and have heard many “interesting” stories as well as made some dear friends in the process. I have listened in disbelief to folks seemingly too gullible for their own good and tried not to shriek when they tell me the predictable end of their stories. I have scolded those who know better who did NOT do better but somehow want me to absolve them. I have been amazed by the goodness and kindness of well-respected choral folk who DO NOT HAVE TO BE good and kind and yet, are. I have laughed with, cried with and commiserated with many, all in the name of Choral Ethics. As I think about the last five years, one thing stands out in perfect clarity when it comes to Choral Ethics; we all want to believe the best of people and are hurt and confused when confronted by the worst. Most often, typical Choral Ethics problems stem from a lack of communication or misinformation or unrealistic expectations or a lack of morals on someone’s part.

There are the “legend in their own minds” conductors who create havoc in rehearsal and out. These are the self-proclaimed geniuses and know-it-alls who are impatient with everyone with which they must work. They feel they are being expected to work beneath their talent and let you know it; Boy-Howdy, do they! I get many, many emails from the former and present choristers of these directors, wanting to know “what’s up with this guy?” You would be surprised how many emails (over 30) I’ve received about ONE DIRECTOR. He retired a few years ago and one of his singers told me she threw a party!

I am contacted by people who cannot believe colleagues’ nerve or chutzpah or whatever you want to call it. Back-stabbing, undermining and talking smack about others; these are the toads of our profession. What to do when you are confounded by hearing you are being gossiped about? How do you handle it when your singers are being lured away? Why is another choral person questioning your education and ability and program and your choir? I tell the folks there are no easy solutions, other than to take the high road. And promise eventually they’ll be vindicated because I believe in Karma.

I hear plenty of complaints about singers and accompanists, though the accompanists complaining about directors might outnumber the reverse! Directors complain about their boards (or clergy or department chair) not understanding how a chorus/choir works or what is possible with what, and who, they have to work with. Unrealistic expectations on the part of those not directly involved with rehearsals in preparations for concerts or worship services cause hard feelings for everyone. What to do?

We are daily bombarded with “hacks” about how to make everything in our lives “better” and it is true in the choral world as well. I have had quite a few people contact me through the years with questions about other’s motives in “helping” them and their programs. Is it right to trust your “gut” they wonder, especially if something sounds too good? Do they trust what they know to be true? Or do they go with what they are being told is so much better than anything they’ve done in the past; look, see how many other people are doing it? The common thread with almost all of these folks is this; they do not trust their own instincts any longer.

In this turbulent time, I think it is more important than ever to stick with what we believe and stay true to our morals and core values. Remember Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3, Polonius: “This above all: to thine own self be true?” I don’t mean to imply never to try something new or not attempt something which makes you slightly uncomfortable. I do mean this; if something feels morally or ethically wrong or too easy to be right, think twice.

Got a Choral Ethics Dilemma? Email me at: with “Choral Ethics” in the subject line.

Until next week, be well and be safe.

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning!

https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Choral Ethics and Professionalism

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“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!” Percy Bysshe Shelley

During the month of September, Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics will be reviewing what Choral Ethics is and its relevance to our profession, now more than ever. During the tough times we are going through with the COVID-19 Pandemic, self-reflection seems like a good idea. Today we speak of professionalism.

I believe professionalism begins with kindness and in order to be kind, we must have been shown kindness. It starts almost immediately in music lessons with our first teachers.  Whether they see talent or something undefinable but promising or nothing but some interest, they are kind and encouraging.

The best teachers are tough but kind.  They critique your technique or interpretation but never you as a person.  They may, in fact, believe you have no talent or business hoping for a career in music but they will not be the ones to tell you so, unless asked. They will be the first to praise other aspects of your personality and suggest other things you may do in life.

Those who cry “he or she isn’t tough enough to survive in this business” never show a smidge of kindness so as to not appear “weak,” however, the strongest amongst us are the most kind.  You can be tough, uncompromising, and not be willing to settle and still be kind. Kindness lessens stress.  When folks are less stressed and more relaxed, they are able to learn more quickly, more easily and will perform better.

It is the lack of kindness, the obvious disparaging remark and the mean-spirited criticism that makes a world of difference in our students’ and ensembles’ perception of us as directors and as people.  My Mom would call it “being ugly.”  Your own Mom may have called it “snotty” or just plain “nasty.”  Must we refer to our soprano section as “cackling hens” or say the basses sound like “bottom feeders” or tell the tenors to “loosen their neckties because they sound like they are strangling” or ignore the altos, occasionally call them “Joanie-One-Notes?” Do we need to call our accompanist “Fumble Fingers?” As soon as those “cheap shots” come out of our mouths, our singers and accompanists begin to lose respect for us. We should be honest but not nasty!

What does it take–a few minutes–to NOT make a nasty comment or to make a person feel welcome and appreciated? What’s in it for you?  Not sniping is such a small thing in the grand scheme of things. It shows you have a degree of self-control.  Being petty with someone you don’t like–or think you don’t like–may be hard at first but the rewards you will reap will be worth it. Rise above and do yourself proud. Be kind to those around you every day. And get the reputation of being someone whom anyone would want to work with and be with and live with.

I was privileged to study at the Chicago Musical College, now the Chicago College of Performing Arts, as an undergraduate and a graduate student.  Looking back, I know I was lucky to not only study with some world class and wonderful musicians, but wonderful people. Nurturing and kind and willing to teach, these folks touched not only me but many of my generation of musicians.

In lessons, we were actually taught how to practice. An 18 or 19-year-old comes to music school with no idea how to budget practice or what to practice but we were guided. We were not expected to know everything or be perfect all the time because we were students and it was understood we were to be guided. What we were expected was to be kind, respectful and responsible.

What does it mean exactly, to be kind, respectful and responsible?  It is so easy to forget we need to work with others. Unless you are a soloist all the time, you must work with conductors and other musicians on a regular basis.  And unless you conduct exactly the kind of ensemble you wish, with the musicians you wish, you must work with whom you are given.

I’ve said this many times before but it bears repeating: many people, even those who are the supposed “professionals,” think it is the drama, making a scene and the last minute changes and the lack of schedules because their ensemble should be the only important thing in your life that makes you a “professional.” I believe it to be the opposite. True professionals respect other’s time and their own as well.  It is not only sharing rehearsal schedules that makes them professional, but it shows they are organized and thinking ahead.  We all have occasion to have to do things at the last minute but when it is always that way or appears to be that way, it is rather unsettling. And makes me wonder if they are as professional as they claim to be.

Next week, I’ll be blogging about what I’ve learned from writing about Choral Ethics. Until then, we well and be safe.

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning!

https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Our Fifth Anniversary

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“I trust in nature for the stable laws of beauty and utility. Spring shall plant and autumn garner to the end of time.” Robert Browning

This first Thursday of September marks the FIFTH anniversary of my Blog here at ChoralNet, Choral Potpourri. I’ve written over 250 Blogs, more or less, including repeats during the summer and requests for a favorite blog or two. I take my blogging duty seriously. Many of you contact me with your queries and dilemmas for advice about important things, as well as some not so important things. Many ask if they are “right” or what they are feeling is “right” or sometimes just want to know if they’re on the “right” track. Most just want to be reassured and I try to make you feel good about your choices.

I chose the name “Choral Potpourri” for my blog because I planned to write about many things choral related in addition to what I call “Choral Ethics”, and I have. Often, I write about subjects of concern to those who contact me or seasonal thoughts or an issue in our profession or in the news which affects us. But at the heart of this Blog is Choral Ethics.

For the month of September, I will be reviewing what Choral Ethics is and how it came to be. With this most unusual year and the beginning of our academic and concert seasons, perhaps it would be good to contemplate as we navigate our very different circumstances.

A little over five years ago, I began to write about something I called “Choral Ethics.” A few things motivated me, including a rather unpleasant encounter at a community arts event with a choral colleague.  Nothing seemed to provoke our confrontation; in fact, I had just recommended the person for a rather nice job. But she was hell-bent on being unpleasant, so…unpleasant she was.  She harangued me in public and I thought she was being “unprofessional” as well as something else I couldn’t define. After our encounter, I began thinking about behavior, specifically what we deem “professional” behavior.

“Professional” means different things to different people and musicians throw the term around all the time.  It may mean being on time for rehearsals and gigs, being cooperative and even collegial.  It may also mean practicing and being prepared—having the right music or a pencil handy–for rehearsal.  We can agree being a “professional” may mean being on time or bringing a pencil, but it is something much more. “Professional” may also be used to describe a conductor’s behavior. 

As I began to think of what I believed a lack of professionalism, it occurred to me it is not a lack of professionalism but a lack of some sort of accepted ethical guidelines of behavior within our profession. There are things we should not be doing, of course, and we all think we know what they are.  But do we?

There are plenty of people, both musicians and “civilians,” who give conductors and singers a pass for bad behavior simply because they are so high strung and talented and artistic and so concerned with perfection and so…..well, you fill in the blank.  They reason, since the Maestro/Maestra is so talented, they must be justified in behaving like a four-year-old and the rest of us must not be as talented because we don’t.  Somewhere along the line, it’s become acceptable and even preferable within our profession to be prickly in the name of music. When we accept this behavior in others, we can be sure to be treated to another round of something new and even more outrageous from them the next time.

Physicians take an oath—the Hippocratic Oath–as they graduate from medical school and are awarded their M.D.s. They swear to “do no harm.”  I wonder if we should be required to do the same.  We must do no harm to our singers, both physically and emotionally, by using our knowledge of the human voice to prevent injury and by not emotionally abusing them by our behavior inside rehearsals and out.  We must do no harm to our colleagues by not bad mouthing or undermining them in public to singers or audience members or the community at large. We must do no harm to our profession as a whole by upholding ourselves to as high a musical standard as possible within our scope of expertise and by respecting the rights of the composers we perform. As well, many believe it important to choose repertoire not in conflict with their own belief system, whether because of a composer’s behavior or a composition’s message.

Each of us needs to think about our own personal code of choral ethics, ideally beginning to develop our code while in training. Those working with young conductors can begin the process by being a good example first and sharing their personal codes with students. I find my own teachers and the conductors I have worked with influencing my own ethical code, whether positively or negatively.

Next week, I’ll share some thoughts about my own personal code of Choral Ethics. Until then, be well and be safe.

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning!

https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: August 2020

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“Around me I saw women overworked and underpaid, doing men’s work at half men’s wages, not because their work was inferior, but because they were women.” Anna Howard Shaw

For the last Thursday of August 2020’s Choral Potpourri, I would like to share some thoughts about women conductors. I hope you will share some of your thoughts with us as well in the comments below.

It’s been an unusual year, hasn’t it? And wild and wooly, to say the least. It began much like every year, with January cold and snowy and February being February. Then all heck broke loose in mid-March; none of us are the same as we were back then. And August 2020 is not like we supposed it would be back in January, the Centennial of Women’s Suffrage in the United States. There were to be concerts of women celebrating the rights our Mothers, Sisters, Cousins and Aunties fought for more than a century ago. Some music did happen and became virtual with some events never happening, having to be canceled due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. We were okay about the cancellations and while we missed the Hoop-La, we know it’s not about the party and celebration, it’s about the RIGHT TO VOTE and gender equality.

During the last one hundred years, things have changed for women in the United States. Perhaps not as quickly as anyone would have liked, but things are better for most women than at the beginning of the Twentieth Century. Women in classical music seem to be the last to notice any change in our art form regarding gender prejudice. It’s not news to you or to me but to others, not involved in classical music, the lack of gender parity is astounding.

Women instrumentalists are slowly but surely gaining ground, with some of the last bastions of all-male orchestras breaking the gender divide. Instrumentalists are no longer looked on as male, female, or non-binary but AS PLAYERS of their instruments. Folks have learned a good violinist or percussionist is a good violinist or percussionist NOT just a good woman violinist or a good woman percussion. Now if we could only have more People of Color in symphony orchestras, we’d be on the right track.

While the ranks of symphony orchestras have more women players than ever before, women conductors with regular conducting positions are not common. It is no secret women conductors are still struggling with gender equality, no matter what sort of ensemble they conduct. Comments such as “she’s a pretty good for a woman conductor” or “they took a chance and hired a woman music director” or “we had to have at least one interview with a woman and were pleasantly surprised with her ability” are not benign comments, though they sound positive. If “she’s good for a woman conductor” is meant as a compliment, it’s not.

I adored my Grandpa Grass and he adored me, his first grandchild. But he would call me “Mike” because he thought I was too smart to be a girl. He would tease me, and I never really understood what he meant since Grandma was pretty smart. It really bothered me he thought I was too smart for a girl, but I never told him so, because how smart is “too smart” for a girl? When my youngest son was a few months old, he told me I redeemed myself by having three sons. I know he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, but he did, with what he thought to be a compliment.

I dream of a day when woman conductors are respected for being good conductors, not a good WOMAN conductor. And comments about hair (is she a real blond or why doesn’t she put it up so it won’t flop around), weight (I think she’s pregnant but I’m not sure), what she wears (did you see the get-up she had on to conduct HANDEL), or her shoes (did she really had to wear heels that high) will be outweighed by positive comments about her conducting.

I hope women will uplift other women, as my first mentor Lillian advised. I long for the day when a conductor is chosen for their musical leadership ability rather than what the Blue-Haired Ladies think is appropriate. Because a good conductor is a good conductor, no matter their gender.

Next week, I’ll ponder what the new academic/concert year means for us this fall.

Until then, be well and be safe!

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning!

https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Storytime-Two

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“If we ever get to the polls once, you will never get us home.” Anna Howard Shaw

Today Choral Potpourri brings you Sexism Stories from several ChoralNetters. Most of their stories aren’t long, but they are telling.

Geraldine* heretofore known as “Gerry” was hired by a community college to be their choral director. When interviewed, she was told, in addition to her college position, she would be expected to direct the adult community chorus sponsored by the college. She never met anyone connected to the community chorus until their first rehearsal, fall semester. Gerry was also told she could hire her own accompanist, so she did, her friend Adam*.

Adam was her usual accompanist, so they walked in together that first day. And what do you know, everyone welcomed Adam with open arms. They told him they couldn’t WAIT to work with him, were looking forward to learning from him and were eager to see what he would program. The singers all but ignored Gerry and mentioned the piano was in the corner under the piano cover; she would have to take off the cover and move it closer if Maestro wanted her to. Adam and Gerry gave each other a look, and let it play out. Gerry removed the piano cover and moved it a bit closer to the podium while Adam chatted away with the singers. She was also told to pass out music by the chorus’s president.

Five minutes before rehearsal began, after Gerry had passed out music, she stepped onto the podium and the singers gasped. Adam took his place at the piano and Gerry introduced herself and then Adam. There was a bit of chatter but once rehearsal began, it died down. During the first break, folks came up to her to apologize for mistaking Adam for her. Many told her they were worried when they realized their mistake—they had never heard of a woman conductor! Gerry tells me this happened to her over forty years ago and HOPES this doesn’t happen now.

Heather* is not a choral conductor but an orchestral conductor. A few years ago, she interviewed and auditioned for a music director position with a small professional orchestra. Trouble began in the first rehearsal; several WOMEN string players questioned her tempi, dynamics, and bowings constantly. They asked if she was sure she wanted what she asked for. They chattered as she was speaking, much to the embarrassment of many others in the orchestra. After the performance, those WOMEN string players turned their back on her and refused to shake her hand, muttering about being expected to work with a witch**. Heather was relived she didn’t get the job. She wasn’t quite sure her treatment was because she is a woman, but her gut tells her it was.

The church which hired Glenna* was desperate for a choir director. Their organist refused to do anything other than play—loudly—and accompany, he wouldn’t even come to choir practice. Their last choir director had left them in the lurch and Glenna agreed to help. This denomination had few women in leadership, at any level, so when Glenna arrived at her first rehearsal it was with a bit of trepidation. When she stopped the choir to clean up a cut-off the first time, all the women of the choir turned to the pastor for permission to follow her directions. Pastor told them to do what Glenna asked them. She stayed for two years until she could no longer stand being expected to get approval from a MAN, a non-musician at that, for something as elemental as a cut-off.

During the five years I’ve been writing Choral Potpourri, I’ve gotten at least one or two emails A MONTH from readers wanting to know if asking if they planned to have children in an interview was ethical. Or, if they had children, if they planned to have more. It is not legal to ask to ask someone’s childbearing status in the United States but somehow, the point is often brought up with women. It seems to rarely happen with men; I have never heard from any man about this situation. Josie* is married and both she and her spouse are choral directors. Joe* is NEVER asked in interviews if he plans to have more children and Josie is ALWAYS asked, though usually in a round-about way. Josie contacted me a few years ago to share her story because she thinks this illustrates how sexist audition panels can be. I would agree.

Next week, a wrap-up of sorts and my hopes for the future for our choral profession. Until week, be well and be safe!

*Name Withheld

**You know the word I mean

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning!

https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Storytime–One

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“Women work harder. And women are more honest; they have less reasons to be corrupt.” Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

Last week, I mentioned I’d be sharing sexist stories ChoralNetters have been emailing me since I began writing Choral Potpourri five years ago. Today I share a story not from a ChoralNetter, but a colleague I met during my first church job. This is Lillian’s* story, not mine.

I was hired to replace a young “daughter of the church” and was living in my Mom’s hometown; Grandma still lived there. And when I was hired by this mainline protestant church, I was told they belonged to a consortium of sorts with five other protestant churches in town.

Toward the end of January, I attended an all-day retreat of the musicians of the five churches of the consortium to prepare for our shared Wednesday services during Lent. Each church hosted a Wednesday service, with the musicians of that church providing music. The services usually had a common theme, with music enhancing it. The yearly get-together of the church musicians was a chance to catch up as well as coordinate those Wednesday services.

Lillian always organized the retreat and it was held at her church. I had heard about her for years; she was somewhat a legend in Mom’s hometown. An organist of some skill, her choir was probably the best of any of those churches. And I noticed something; Lillian and I were the only women attending the retreat.

We discussed the Lenten services theme, sight-read through a few hymns and anthems, and decided who would do what. One thing struck me during the day; Lillian was a fine musician (better than the rest of us) and yet, she often acquiesced to the male musicians’ ideas. Or at least that’s the way it appeared to me. At the end of the day, she took me aside and suggested we get together for a “gab session.” I had very young children so we decided she would come over for coffee when my toddlers took their naps, sometime the following week.

When Lillian and I settled in for our “gab session,” she asked me a bit about myself and then told her story. In her seventies at the time, she had been an organ student of a very famous organist/composer/choral conductor in Chicago. I knew of him because Mom had been a student of his and I had sung several of his choral works. She had dreams of being a concert organist—and she was good even in her seventies so I could see that—but instead married, had children, and threw herself into church work. She was living in this town because her husband had grown up here. Right after they married, he took over the family business. She told me she had no regrets.

Lillian had been at her church for thirty years and had seen ten pastors come and go. But her first job in the area she had lasted less than three; she was fired for being “too bossy.” Granted, that denomination had issues with women in leadership roles at the time, so she wasn’t exactly surprised but it stung. And shaped the way she handled her present job.

She reached out to me to share some of her wisdom about being a woman in church music (some of which no longer applies) but some is still applicable thirty years after our “gab session.” Lillian was the first one to tell me women conductors are either considered witches** or wimps–so always decide which one best suits your situation. She told me to never sacrifice my musicianship but try to rise above conflict. Then she told me a story that baffled me at the time.

Her husband was a perfectly lovely man and loved music but wasn’t a musician by any stretch of the imagination. When he attended any event where she played, folks complimented HIM for having such a talented wife. Or asked HIS opinion about some item on a program she had just played. Both situations occurred with her standing right next to him. Her husband would defer to Lillian by saying they should be complimenting HER or asking HER. It had been unnerving in the beginning, but she had come to understand people’s ignorance.

Things have changed since Lillian was around, but one bit of advice still stands the test of time. She told me to always try to lift up other women, even if they didn’t lift me up. I’ve tried to follow her advice, even if it didn’t always make sense.

Lillian retired to Florida a few years after we met, living until she was in her late eighties; she would be over one hundred years old now. She was my first real mentor; I mentor others in her honor and hope she would be proud of me.

Stories from ChoralNetters next week. Until then, be well and be safe!

*Name Withheld

** You know the word I mean

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning!

https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety/

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