ChoralNet

The professional networking site for the global online choral community.

Church Choir

Choral Potpourri/ Choral Ethics: More of the Same

by Leave a Comment

“The major gossip columnists were more concerned with protecting the industry than with gunning down sinners.” Gloria Swanson

As I mentioned earlier this month, for the first time in YEARS, I don’t have concerts or gigs pending and have had time to be around the house much more, so we decided to do some home improvements. The basement re-do is finished and the KITCHEN re-do has begun. The household is in flux, but the upside is we’ve been organizing as we go. As we’ve organized, I’ve found things I had forgotten about, including a file of letters from a former singer. Last week, I shared portions of the first letter I received from Edie*.

For the month of February, I’ve decided to share portions of these letters and others, as well as some perspectives with you. Hindsight is always 20/20 and with time and age, things become clearer. In a way, these letters bring back a period in my life I had forgotten.

As I read through the letters with a Choral Ethics perspective, they read as classic Choral Ethics dilemmas. While I don’t think I’ve consciously let this situation of my own color my suggestions to ChoralNetters with similar dilemmas, I’m sure they have.

That January, I submitted my report for the six months I had been music director the previous year. And I included a letter to the Pastor describing the letters I had been receiving from Edie. I had been asked to speak with Joanne*, the new choir director, which I did. After speaking with her, I understood their frustrations because Joanne did not seem very well trained or knowledgeable about church choirs. I was kind when I spoke with Joanne, sharing information about choir members and the congregation but don’t think she was receptive. And shared my observations with the Pastor.

Today I share a portion of a letter from the Chair of the Choir Director Search Committee, Carl*. All my correspondents were furious (with each other) and thought I could do something, what, I have no idea. I must have written to Carl because he mentions my letter; I have no memory of doing so.

Carl began his letter saying he was happy to hear from me but hadn’t known any of this was happening until he got to choir practice in mid-January:

“I wasn’t aware of this whole ugly situation until we were supposed to have choir practice on January 16. I say “supposed to” because it ended abruptly when Dotty concluded her shouting tirade with, “I quit!” I might add that through this, Joanne remained calm and self controlled.”

Carl defended how they went about finding a new choir director and believed they deserved what they got with Joanne because they weren’t a very big congregation and had been lucky with me. He also describes how Dotty had temper tantrums before several worship services and how several choir members, especially Edie, had it out for Joanne. He tells me the Pastor had tried to pay a call on Edie and her husband but wasn’t allowed in. He ends with this:

“I’m pondering as to who might have made the “hysterical phone calls.” Right now I guess we’re all candidates, except for me of course.”

I had regularly been getting phone calls from Dotty* (the organist), several choir members, and Edie herself. Most of these calls were late at night and my callers were upset. They must have gotten home from a church meeting or rehearsal and decided to call me. I remember one choir member, Kath*, told me she wanted me to know what was happening to the quality program I had worked so hard to build. She also was threatening to leave the choir and the church.

After reading through Carl’s letter several times, as well as Edie’s, my memory is jogged about a few things. I believe I wrote to several choir members and Dotty regularly, as they did to me. None of their cards and letters were in my files, probably because they were ordinary, normal letters exchanged between friends. I believe I saved these particular letters because they had to do with my former job, and I was worried I would need proof, or something. I can also tell you quite confidently, I cannot remember Edie AT ALL. I can picture others quite clearly, but not her. That should tell you something.

Next week, I’ll wrap up this trip down Memory Lane and share portions of other letters from Edie. And I will tell you, from a Choral Ethics perspective, what I SHOULD have done.

Until next week, be well and be safe.

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning! https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety/

*Name Withheld

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Long Distance Gossip

by Leave a Comment

“No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.” Bertrand Russell

I mentioned last week for the first time in YEARS, I don’t have concerts or gigs pending and have had time to be around the house much more, so we decided to do some home improvements. The basement re-do is finished and the KITCHEN re-do has begun. The household is in flux, but the upside is we’ve been organizing as we go.

I’ve found things I had forgotten about, including a file of letters from a former singer of mine, Edie*, who sang in my church choir from a long-ago position. These letters were sent soon after my departure from that job I loved at the beginning and merely tolerated at the end. In the letters, Edie complained about my replacement, and more. What she expected me to do, I’ll never know, but she went into detail and gave her opinions. Most of the letters were gossip, pure and simple, with some polite inquiries about my family thrown in. She tended toward the nasty-side of things, behaving such that we can understand why Church Ladies get a bad rap.

Last week, I mentioned I would share portions of a few of these letters and give you my feelings with a Choral Ethics perspective. Today I will share portions of a letter with the earliest date (if I had gotten earlier letters, I’m sure I would have saved them too) but this seems to be the beginning of our correspondence.

Edie began her letter with the weather, what the temperatures had been like that January and how much snow they had gotten at that point.

She continues:

“As you may know by now the church has a new choir director. That is what she calls herself, but she sure is pulling the wool over somebody’s eyes! She comes in late for rehearsals and leaves early. She can not keep an even tempo when she tries to direct. She sings flat and tries to blame Dotty* (the organist). Both Dotty and I have tried to speak to her to help her but she just ignores Dotty and has laughed at me. Believe it or not I have not gone back into the choir since Christmas and as long as they keep paying her for doing nothing, I don’t intend to go back.”

She continues:

“Not only is this girl a farce as a director is concerned, she is a vulgar and crude person.” She gives examples of her crudeness and goes on:

“Poor Dotty is the one I feel sorry for. This girl has not only been rude to her but has gone so far as to tell her how to play the organ. She doesn’t realize Dotty has been playing before she was born. I know Dotty has been in tears several times and if she ever walks out the church will suffer a great loss.”

After wondering about the competence of the church secretary and how early in the week music selections need to be submitted, she goes on:

“Barb*, Kath* (choir members) and others are also disgusted but I think are too chicken to let their feelings be known. It is too bad this young woman is being paid for doing absolutely nothing but pulling a good bluff.”

Edie ends her letter asking about my children, their new school district and hopes we are all well.

I am still a bit shocked by Edie’s letters. At the beginning, I’m sure it was a bit flattering to be contacted, but also irritating to be pulled into a drama I was happy to leave. Here are my thoughts about those letters. As I re-read them, I tried to imagine what their purpose was, and could not. When I advise ChoralNetters about their own Choral Ethics dilemmas, I always ask them to think about what purpose/motive someone could have for doing something. I thought I’d take my own advice.

Other than inform me what was happening at my old place of employment, there was no purpose. In later letters, Edie tries to make me feel guilty for leaving or possibly not giving the congregation enough time to find a decent replacement. When I was hired, it was not a secret my spouse was doing a medical residency and we would be moving on at some point. And I gave them one year’s notice I would be leaving so Edie’s guilt-tripping didn’t matter. This first letter set the stage for what was to come, and believe me, there is more to come.

Until next week, be well and be safe.

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning! https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety/

*Name Withheld

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Putting Folks Down

by 1 Comment

“No man ever got very high by pulling other people down. The intelligent merchant does not knock his competitors. The sensible worker does not knock those who work with him. Don’t knock your friends. Don’t knock your enemies. Don’t knock yourself.” Alfred Lord Tennyson

As you may recall, Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics is re-visiting some of our most discussed Choral Ethics dilemmas for the month of January. We finish today with an “oldie but goodie” that has been discussed frequently. I’ve called it gossip or being mean, but you could say it’s simply putting someone down and expecting others to join in your “fun”.

I have written several Blogs here on ChoralNet about what I call the culture of choir. In those blogs, I speak of how the behavior of your choir—to each other, to you as director, to other musicians—help define your culture. When there is trouble with recruiting or retaining singers, it is often in direct response to the choir’s culture.

Our story today concerns Carl* who began singing in his church choir a few years ago. Carl loves to sing and sang in his high school and college choirs. He was a member of his college’s male a cappella group and says those experiences helped define him as a person.

After graduation, things got in the way of his singing in a choir. First his job, then marriage and parenthood; you know, LIFE! Finally, when their youngest child began high school, Carl’s wife encouraged him to start singing again. He liked the music at their family’s church so decided to sing with the church choir.

But Carl recently quit singing with the church choir. He liked the choir director, her choice of music and her directing style. But he could not STAND the petty games the women singers played. Everything was an opportunity to gossip. Every soloist was “no better than they should be.” Every service held some anthem or hymn which is “impossible” to sing or some announcement which riled someone up. Carl used to try to get to rehearsal five or ten minutes early to visit and get to know his fellow members. Then he began to arrive as close to the downbeat as possible just so he could just sing and not listen to their malarkey. He wanted to quit at Christmas but decided to continue until the end of the choir year.

When the choir year ended, he decided he had had enough. That’s when he contacted me to help figure out the best (and most Choral Ethical) way to quit. Since the choir year had just ended, I told him he probably didn’t need to do anything if he didn’t want a confrontation. Besides, choir practice wouldn’t start again until after Labor Day and there was a possibility he might want to go back. And there was always the path of least resistance which is to just not go. If asked why he’s not coming to rehearsal, he could always say his job (parent, child, or home renovation) is going to take more time than he realized and he won’t be able to sing. Or he could just tell the truth.

Why tell the truth? Because the choir director has a right to know. She probably knows what’s going on with the women but may not realize their behavior is causing the choir to lose singers. Losing a male singer is BAD for a church choir! Maybe she’s spoken with them; maybe she’s spoken to clergy about them, maybe she’s had other complaints, but she should know why she is losing a singer. The culture of Carl’s choir had gotten to a place where something had to be done. And his director needed to step up, be a leader and do it.

I contacted Carl to ask for an update for today’s blog. He told me he DID speak with his choir director over a year ago. She was flabbergasted he wanted to leave because of the Choir Gossips and thanked him for telling her why he wanted to leave. She told him she would see what she could do and would get back to him. In fact, she spoke with clergy and explained what had happened. Clergy was not pleased and felt there was really nothing to do in this situation, other than ask the Gossips not to gossip during choir practice.

The choir director wanted to do more. She changed how her rehearsals were run, doing sectionals every other week, and having a tutti rehearsal 90 minutes before Sunday services. Her reasoning was this; with rehearsal right before a service, there was NO TIME for anyone to gossip. She let Carl know her plan and he agreed to try singing with them again until after Christmas. He did and felt good singing, delighted to continue after Christmas–then the Pandemic struck. He has hopes things will be even better when his choir is finally able to sing together–so do we!

Until next week, be well and be safe.

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning! https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety/

*Name Withheld

Choral Potpourri/ Choral Ethics: So This Is Christmas

by Leave a Comment

“At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.” Thomas Tusser

Today is Christmas Eve. If you had told me how we would be celebrating in 2020 around this time last year, I would have thought you were crazy. No family get-togethers? RIDICULOUS! No caroling or singing in public of any sort? OUTRAGEOUS! No holiday parties, for anyone, except virtually? What do you mean by VIRTUALLY? And Christmas shopping done mostly online—that takes all the fun out of it–so NOPE, how can that be? And being required to wear MASKS in public? BONKERS!

But this is Christmas, Christmas 2020, a year like no other and things will be different. Our observances of the holiday will be different, our family celebrations will be different (and possible not together) and our ways of plying our profession will be different.

Church musicians, I feel for you. Are you playing in a parking lot tonight? Or socially distanced in your Sanctuary with no live singing? Did you record the whole darn thing (or some of the music) last week to be streamed on your congregation’s Facebook page? Is it all being done virtually? Very few of you will be doing what you usually do and for that, I am so very sorry. I’m sure it was difficult to make the decisions you had to make.

I’m willing to guess those of you who direct school choruses had unusual holiday concerts. Were you able to figure out the best way for you to do so in your particular situation? I hope so and am sure you did the best you were able to do.

Community chorus directors may, or may not, have had a holiday concert this strange year. It might have been virtually, recorded with a click track, or Zoom just for your singers or in parking lot. Or maybe it did not happen at all, with some of your singers not willing to compromise and you not willing (or with enough energy) to convince them. We are all doing the best we can, and I hope you know you did everything you could possibly do.

It’s a Holiday Season of phrases like “doing the best we can” and “wish we could be together” and “how are you holding up” as part of our daily conversations. But we are “doing the best we can” and we do “wish we could be together” and we are “holding up as well as can be expected” and that’s fine. With our usual expectations thrown to the wind this Holiday Season, perhaps it’s time to ditch them and accept them for what they are; not what we usually do.

There is some hope for the New Year; there are two (as I write this) approved vaccines for COVID-19. My spouse, a physician, got his last week and that takes some stress and worry off my shoulders. His booster is scheduled for January 6, the Feast of the Epiphany, so that’s also pretty good news too. All the rest of us should expect to be getting ours in the first months of the New Year and soon after that, things could be approaching normal for our country. We hope it will be sooner rather than later, but in any event, there is progress being made.

It would be strange and a bit inappropriate to wish you a Merry Christmas this year. So, what I will wish for you is this; Comfort (some small comfort) and Joy (some small joy) in your life this Christmas. It is the small things, I’ve learned in the last ten months, that are the most important.

Until next week, be well and be safe.

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning! https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety/

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Storytime–One

by Leave a Comment

“Women work harder. And women are more honest; they have less reasons to be corrupt.” Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

Last week, I mentioned I’d be sharing sexist stories ChoralNetters have been emailing me since I began writing Choral Potpourri five years ago. Today I share a story not from a ChoralNetter, but a colleague I met during my first church job. This is Lillian’s* story, not mine.

I was hired to replace a young “daughter of the church” and was living in my Mom’s hometown; Grandma still lived there. And when I was hired by this mainline protestant church, I was told they belonged to a consortium of sorts with five other protestant churches in town.

Toward the end of January, I attended an all-day retreat of the musicians of the five churches of the consortium to prepare for our shared Wednesday services during Lent. Each church hosted a Wednesday service, with the musicians of that church providing music. The services usually had a common theme, with music enhancing it. The yearly get-together of the church musicians was a chance to catch up as well as coordinate those Wednesday services.

Lillian always organized the retreat and it was held at her church. I had heard about her for years; she was somewhat a legend in Mom’s hometown. An organist of some skill, her choir was probably the best of any of those churches. And I noticed something; Lillian and I were the only women attending the retreat.

We discussed the Lenten services theme, sight-read through a few hymns and anthems, and decided who would do what. One thing struck me during the day; Lillian was a fine musician (better than the rest of us) and yet, she often acquiesced to the male musicians’ ideas. Or at least that’s the way it appeared to me. At the end of the day, she took me aside and suggested we get together for a “gab session.” I had very young children so we decided she would come over for coffee when my toddlers took their naps, sometime the following week.

When Lillian and I settled in for our “gab session,” she asked me a bit about myself and then told her story. In her seventies at the time, she had been an organ student of a very famous organist/composer/choral conductor in Chicago. I knew of him because Mom had been a student of his and I had sung several of his choral works. She had dreams of being a concert organist—and she was good even in her seventies so I could see that—but instead married, had children, and threw herself into church work. She was living in this town because her husband had grown up here. Right after they married, he took over the family business. She told me she had no regrets.

Lillian had been at her church for thirty years and had seen ten pastors come and go. But her first job in the area she had lasted less than three; she was fired for being “too bossy.” Granted, that denomination had issues with women in leadership roles at the time, so she wasn’t exactly surprised but it stung. And shaped the way she handled her present job.

She reached out to me to share some of her wisdom about being a woman in church music (some of which no longer applies) but some is still applicable thirty years after our “gab session.” Lillian was the first one to tell me women conductors are either considered witches** or wimps–so always decide which one best suits your situation. She told me to never sacrifice my musicianship but try to rise above conflict. Then she told me a story that baffled me at the time.

Her husband was a perfectly lovely man and loved music but wasn’t a musician by any stretch of the imagination. When he attended any event where she played, folks complimented HIM for having such a talented wife. Or asked HIS opinion about some item on a program she had just played. Both situations occurred with her standing right next to him. Her husband would defer to Lillian by saying they should be complimenting HER or asking HER. It had been unnerving in the beginning, but she had come to understand people’s ignorance.

Things have changed since Lillian was around, but one bit of advice still stands the test of time. She told me to always try to lift up other women, even if they didn’t lift me up. I’ve tried to follow her advice, even if it didn’t always make sense.

Lillian retired to Florida a few years after we met, living until she was in her late eighties; she would be over one hundred years old now. She was my first real mentor; I mentor others in her honor and hope she would be proud of me.

Stories from ChoralNetters next week. Until then, be well and be safe!

*Name Withheld

** You know the word I mean

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning!

https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety/

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Choral Music Will Survive Only If We All Help

by Leave a Comment

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein

I’ve been having an ongoing email dialogue with a friend and colleague since we aren’t able to see each other. We email each other once a week or so since our state’s “shelter-in-place” order went into effect in mid-March.

Last Friday, he responded to an earlier email about a concert on PBS. He really liked last week’s blog and asked me how I could write during the Pandemic. I replied I am not sure how I am going to continue to write something new every week, since about half of my regular blogs concern ChoralNetters emailing me with problems. Well, I needn’t have worried.

An hour after the back and forth with my friend, I received two emails from readers, both concerning an almost identical problem. Marta* said her pastor had just sent out an email, essentially relieving her of her position as adult church choir director. Their congregation will never again have a choir or sing hymns during worship. Greta* emailed with a similar story, though her congregation will no longer have a choir or sing hymns in worship for the foreseeable future, whatever that means. Both pastors “hinted” it was their denomination’s new policy, though didn’t specifically say so.

I asked both if their pastors had been supportive of their choirs before the Pandemic. Both responded “no.” I also asked if there had ever been issues with hymns and both responded “yes.” It seems to me, their pastors were looking for any excuse to get rid of their choirs as well as gain control of all singing in their congregations. The Pandemic was as convenient an excuse as any, more’s the pity. Folks will be eager to blame singing if that serves their purpose.

I suggested both contact their denominations and their denominations’ music organizations. It may not be their policy AT ALL but a temporary solution when congregations are FIRST able to worship together. Things are up in the air and everyone wants to do what’s best for their congregants. Not EVER singing together again doesn’t seem like the best, for anyone!

I don’t think these will be the last emails I will receive in this vein. In fact, I expect many choral and music teachers will soon be told their programs are being cut in the interest of the “health and safety” of their students. Superintendents, principals and other administrators who wanted to cancel expensive music programs in normal times will jump on the NO SINGING Bandwagon. I also believe other music programs besides vocal ones will be cut along similar lines. I hope I am wrong, but I don’t think so.

Of course, there are Worship Communities, music organizations and school districts who will not even THINK about canceling their choruses because their clergy, administrators, singers and parents believe in, love and value them. But there will still need to be changes as we navigate life AFTER COVID-19. As long as we, the Choral Professionals, are at the table for this discussion, we should be able give HONEST input for the greater good. If we don’t figure out how to get to the other side, our Art Form will suffer. When we ARE able to sing together, there won’t be anyone left to sing with us.

But what can we do? The worst thing would be NOT to be prepared; and prepared with talking points BEFORE any changes, with ideas at the ready. We also know it will be a while before things get back to anywhere near normal, so we might have some time.

So let’s start thinking; why is choral music important? Why is SINGING TOGETHER important? Yes, it feeds the soul and brings people together but WHAT ELSE? Here are some ideas to get you started for your own talking points.

  • Anthems in worship enhance the sermon/homily and the scripture readings of the day
  • Hymn singing encourages congregations to think about the same things at the same time
  • Music helps the Worship Service move along and continues the traditions of denomination and congregation
  • Children who study music do better in mathematics and science
  • Music is an outlet for expression when words are not enough
  • Songs teach history and culture and as well as the actual songs
  • Singing in foreign languages help TEACH those foreign languages
  • Singing together builds community between different kinds of people

These are just a few ideas—please share your own in the comments below to help us all.

We WILL get through this but we no longer have time to feel sorry for ourselves. We DO have the time to be creative, to think outside of the box so we are prepared with suggestions when we are asked. Or, when we are TOLD what is best for our programs, we are able to counter with our OWN ideas, and with confidence.

Until next week, be well!

*Name Withheld

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning!

https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety/

© 2022 American Choral Directors Association. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy