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Church Choir

Choral Potpourri.Choral Ethics: Putting In the Work

September 16, 2021 by Marie Grass Amenta 2 Comments

“Unless a tree has borne blossoms in spring, you will vainly look for fruit on it in autumn.” Walter Scott

 Denise* contacted me in August with a strange story, but one I’ve heard before. We’ve gone back and forth, but now I’d like to ask your opinion. Her dilemma/question is this—should she re-interview/re-audition for a job she’s held successfully for three years? Her story starts in January 2020, ‘way before any of us had ever heard about COVID-19, but let’s start at the beginning.

Denise was hired in August 2018 as music director for a very nice Protestant church 20 minutes from her house. While Denise liked the position she had held before this one, it was over an hour away and she had young children. The pay was essentially the same but without the commute.

At the time she interviewed for the position, the congregation was in the middle of a pastor transition, with an interim in place. She would direct three choirs—adult, children, and bells—and play organ for services. She tells me she doesn’t like to brag but her credentials are impeccable, with her BM and MM coming from well-known institutions known for their choral and organ departments. The Interim Pastor was THRILLED to get her resume, CV and audition materials and Denise was THRILLED to be able to have a chance to apply for a position so close to home. She was hired, right after her in-person organ audition, on the spot. The choirs loved her. The congregation loved her. The CUSTODIAN loved her.

In the Fall of 2019, serious Pastor candidates were interviewed, finally narrowed down to two. The two candidates preached all the Sundays in October and November (one for each month), so the Search Committee and the congregation could make a decision based on multiple sermons and services. Denise had some input since she would have to work with each and was asked to share her opinions with the Search Committee. The candidate she thought was the best fit was chosen and began in January 2020, right after the New Year.

In the beginning, the New Pastor was pleasant and congenial, as she had been during her audition month. She quickly changed as the month of January 2020 went along, especially with Lenten planning. Denise had chosen music, based on the Liturgical year and what had been done the previous year, in early December. Denise wanted to get rehearsing right after the New Year and reasoned the Liturgical year would be the same no matter who would be the New Pastor. New Pastor was not pleased she had chosen music. And here’s where it gets a bit strange; New Pastor wanted Denise to re-interview and re-audition with HER, and re-submit her credentials, despite having been hired and working, with nary a complaint, at the church for 18 months. As Lent began, things were in place for Denise to re-audition, but when COVID-19 hit, those plans were tabled.

The first few weeks of lockdown were difficult, no one knowing what to do or what made sense TO do. Finally, the church council, along with New Pastor, decided they would have services via Zoom and Denise would play a Prelude and Postlude. They made this decision without Denise, but she readily agreed, since they told her they would still pay her regular salary. At first, Denise recorded her Preludes and Postludes from home—strictly piano pieces—and sent the files in. As things eased up a bit, she went in one day a week to practice organ, and the following day someone came to record her. This worked out and everyone was pleased, or so she thought.

New Pastor set up a Zoom meeting with Denise as Summer 2020 began. Things seemed a bit better, and the congregation was toying with the idea of parking lot services. But it turned out the reason for the Zoom meeting was New Pastor STILL wanted Denise to re-submit her credentials, re-interview, and re-audition, stating the “fact” she didn’t know what she was capable of as far as music was concerned. And, it also turned out, New Pastor was letting a fellow clergy friend influence her with what HE had done in his new pastoral position.

At that point, in-person interviews and auditions were out of the question, but Denise decided to “play nice” and emailed her resume, CV with music links of her organ playing and choirs she directed (including the previous Christmas Eve with their congregation’s choir and bells). That seemed to satisfy New Pastor for the moment, but still INSISTED she wanted to interview and audition her IN-PERSON when things settled down.

Which brings us to the present. Denise has begun in-person rehearsals with the adult choir (the children’s choir is on-hold for the foreseeable future) and New Pastor has shown up a few times. It’s always very pleasant, like she’s just dropping by, but it seems like an un-official audition to Denise. Not that she’s worried about the “pop in, drop ins,” it just seems strange.

Last week, New Pastor insisted it’s time for the In-Person interview and wants to schedule it for the end of September. Denise is hemming and hawing.

What gets Denise is this; after 18 months of working together in this difficult Pandemic-era, New Pastor STILL feels the need to interview her. Hasn’t she proven her mettle? Hasn’t she gone over and beyond and shown what she’s willing to do for the congregation? She isn’t sure she wants to do the interview and isn’t sure what will happen if she refuses. What should she do?

Until next week, be well and safe!

*Name Withheld

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page but am not able to today. Hope to see you next week! ~MLGA

 

 

Filed Under: Choral Culture, Choral Ethics, Choral Potpourri, Church Choir, Difficult Times, Leadership, pandemic, Self Care, The Choral Life

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Success, I Guess

August 19, 2021 by Marie Grass Amenta Leave a Comment

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of the intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the beauty in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that one life has breathed easier because you lived here. This is to have succeeded.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today’s Choral Ethics blog is a rerun from several years ago. It’s still applicable as we begin to get back to normal. MLGA

Today I ran into a former singer of mine, a tenor from an old church job. Always a lovely man, he and his wife were two of my favorite singers and I was delighted to see him. He told me the choir still talks about me, always about something good he assured me, and they miss me. Still. I left in 2004.

I didn’t want to leave, not really, but all sorts of little things about my job and about the church had bothered me. I was crabby, I was stressed, and those little things bothered me more and more. My boss (clergy) was married to another professional church musician and felt the need to explain (over and over) how HE numbered the cubbies in HIS choir room at HIS church and maybe I should try it that way. There was nothing wrong with the numbering system of the cubbies in our choir room—it worked just fine for my choir– so I paid no attention to her jabbering. But every time I saw her or talked to her, she pointed out that darn numbering. Of the cubbies. In the church choir room. Doing it her spouse’s way would have meant A LOT of busy work for me, to re-number everything and would have meant the choir would have had to be on board to make it happen; I wanted to work on music with them, not argue with them! This Clergy tended to “throw me under the bus” when it came to taking responsibility for unpopular decisions, so no way did I want to do this. This was not the reason I left, but it was part of a bigger reason.

I loved that job. I loved the people in my choirs, the bells, the children, the adults and my sacred dance troop. I loved their musical abilities and the music we made together, I loved their families, and I loved the rest of the staff (mostly) too. I worked with a total of three organists (not including interims and subs); one of whom I really liked, one who was a newbie and had to be taught everything –we got along okay for the most part—and one who was a total pain. If you saw me work with those three, you would have had a hard time knowing which was which—except for the newbie—because I tried to always be professional, no matter what.

When I spoke with that tenor today, he told me the people who have replaced me are perfectly nice people and the musical standard I had held them to has been upheld. But something is missing. He said I had a certain something they miss; and they miss me. I told him I hoped the choir didn’t bring me up to their new directors often because there is something obnoxious about THAT! He assured me, I was only mentioned occasionally and never to put anyone down. Our conversation made me feel good, as if I had made a difference in the life of that church. It was comforting to know I was still remembered fondly. I had often wondered if I was successful in what I set out to do, which was to rise above the ordinary. Maybe I did.

Until next week, be well and safe!

I have been taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page but will take the month of August off. See you in September!

Filed Under: Choral Culture, Choral Ethics, Choral Potpourri, Church Choir, Leadership, Self Care, The Choral Life

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Ethical Dilemma, Part 1

August 5, 2021 by Marie Grass Amenta 1 Comment

“Nothing is less important than which fork you use. Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is ethics. It is honor.” Emily Post 
 

Today’s Choral Ethics blog is a rerun from several years ago. It’s still applicable as we begin to get back to normal. MLGA

I have had two ChoralNetters contact me in the last month about two different Choral Ethics dilemmas. Both leave me scratching my head. Perhaps you can help; maybe you’ll have a better answer than I do. Today, I’ll present Adam*’s dilemma and next week it will be Brick*’s turn. 

Adam is the choirmaster/organist for a mid-sized Mainline Protestant church. They are a member of a coalition of churches pooling resources. He is the only professional musician in the group of five (now six) churches who share clergy and others things. He plays most Sundays at his own congregation, with the occasional Sunday at one of the other churches. During Lent and Advent, he directs a Festival Choir comprising his choir and singers from the other congregations, rotating among the churches. Since Adam is the only professional musician in this group of churches, he directs the Festival Choir and works with them during scheduled rehearsals several Saturdays before important Holy Days. 

This arrangement works for the most part. Adam plays whatever instrument the other congregations have or brings his own keyboard for the one who has none. The volunteer musicians from the other churches respect him but there have been one or two incidents of territorialism. Adam will be moving on in about eighteen months, perhaps sooner, so right now he doesn’t care about whose territory is who’s or the fact he is expected to drag his keyboard around. What he does care about is illegal music copying. 

Right after Easter, one of the volunteer musicians from another of the congregations asked him if his church would like their quite extensive choral music library. She told him they would no longer use it but perhaps his bigger choir could use some of the music or they could use it when they had their twice-yearly festival choirs. She suggested what his choir could not use could be donated to another choral organization or recycled.  

He took the boxes and boxes and BOXES of music and put it in the back seat of his car, and some in the trunk. Adam didn’t have time to immediately go through it but brought all into his living room, where it sat for several weeks. After complaining about what a hassle it was, sitting there, one of his friends offered to help him go through it. They found some real gems, never expecting to find anything like that, as well as some dregs but PLENTY of things for his own church and the festival choir. He also found 32 files full of copied music; 32 folders. Some anthems, some hymns from hymnals he doesn’t think they own and some blatant illegal stuff.   

Adam has not been especially happy the last year or so in his position. The church hierarchy has not wanted to give him a raise or pay him mileage (or gas money) for all the churches he’s now expected to serve as official professional musician. Since Adam and I began our correspondence in early May, they’ve added yet another church to the coalition. They are, to quote Adam, cheap.  

He can’t stand the idea of the music copies he found. I asked him what he did with the folders and he told me he took pictures with his phone and then shredded them with his home office shredder. It took him four hours. Now, he wants to tell someone what he found. I asked him this question; why? Does he want to get someone in trouble? My guess whoever did this is long gone. Does he want to threaten someone? Does he think he could use this as leverage for a raise? Adam tells me he is moving on in about 18 months to go back to school, so I asked if he thought this could be an issue with a reference if he did so. 

What would you do? Who would you tell and why? If the copies are shredded, should that be the end of it? And since it is one of the churches in the coalition Adam is not usually responsible for, should it be his business in the first place? 

Until next week, be well and safe!

*Name Withheld

I have been taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page but will take the month of August off. See you in September!

Filed Under: Choral Culture, Choral Ethics, Choral Potpourri, Church Choir, Leadership, The Choral Life

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Storytime One

June 24, 2021 by Marie Grass Amenta Leave a Comment

“A story should have a beginning, a middle and an end, but not necessarily in that order.” Jean-Luc Godard

It is Storytime here at Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics with a story from my own life and career. I hope it will get you thinking about how you treat those you work for and with, in the future.

It was one of those days, one in which I had many little things to accomplish. Nothing big or especially time consuming, but just a lot of teensy chores. Little details needed to be addressed in many aspects of my life and I felt stressed to get them all done before rehearsal that night. But I did.

I was directing a decent church choir in a medium-sized church and always planned my rehearsals the afternoon before and sometimes, the afternoon of the day before. This rehearsal (because I knew I would be busy), I had done my planning the day before. I listed the announcements I needed to make about several upcoming services in my planning so I would not forget anything. I felt confident I had ticked off all the boxes and it flowed well, or so I thought.

The next morning, I got a message from my supervising clergy to come in for a meeting to discuss something important. I was confused about what could be so important she needed to call a special meeting, and came in as requested. It turns out, the accompanist/organist felt I didn’t go into as much detail about those upcoming services as I should have and told the pastor. Instead of elaborating himself when I made the announcements or taking me aside after rehearsal, he tattled on me. I explained to the pastor what I said, and even happened to have my rehearsal plan in my briefcase to show her. She didn’t seem to think what I said was exactly wrong, just not enough. I felt pretty crummy about the whole thing. This incident was not what finally caused me to resign from a job I loved, but it was a contributing factor.

The accompanist/organist was young, and this was his first church job. He was a good musician but young, inexperienced and got flustered with all the service music. I finally helped him stay “in the service” by using sticky notes with numbers on them to keep him from being confused on what to play, when. When he was late to rehearsals (which was often), I covered for him and played myself until he got there. There were several times he was late to a Sunday warm-up, and we worried he wouldn’t show at all. Again, I covered for him until I couldn’t one Sunday because he missed his Prelude. He believed I tattled on him, but I did not. And that’s why he tattled on me about something so insignificant.

I should have gone to the Personnel committee about his tardiness from the beginning. Several members of my choir were on that committee, and one person’s spouse was, so it was not exactly a secret. I’ve always believed we should “pick our battles” and his occasional lateness never bothered me. But missing his Prelude could not be overlooked.  I was HIS supervisor, since I was a senior staff member, and was not tattling by mentioning it to the pastor. When she wondered where he was, I told her he had not yet gotten to church, and she was NOT happy. He walked in five minutes after that, and was a bit ticked we skipped over his Prelude since it would make everything else late if he played it.

Looking back, I probably should have said more about those services in my announcements that evening. If that young, inexperienced accompanist/organist had spoken up or had taken me aside after, I would have been fine with it. No good deed goes unpunished.

Until next week, be well and be safe!

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning! https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety/

Filed Under: Choral Culture, Choral Ethics, Choral Potpourri, Church Choir, Leadership, Self Care, The Choral Life

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: My Quirky Choir Members

May 13, 2021 by Marie Grass Amenta Leave a Comment

“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.” Abraham Lincoln

The last few days, I’ve been thinking about a few of my more memorable students and choir members, starting with one of my first jobs, and continuing on to the group I conduct now. Some of them were funny and some were irritating. They had one thing in common; their behaviors were such that I can’t help but remember them.

Emily* wasn’t really one of my singers but a student in a Humanities class I taught at a Catholic Girls School. She had recently lost her mother, and her father thought being around other girls and women would be good for her, despite being Jewish and attending a Catholic Girls School. Em was obsessed with Ted Nugent. I mean, that girl would bring him up in almost every class, even when we were talking about the Renaissance! For their final paper, I gave the class a choice of writing about any artist or musician from any Era we studied in class. Her final paper was about, you guessed it, Ted Nugent, and was actually quite good.

I’ve had some wacky private piano/voice students, but their parents/spouses were often wackier. The husband who thought my electronic metronome was out of date, therefore I couldn’t possible be a good teacher AND TOLD ME SO. The mother who told me I couldn’t possibly teach her son (or direct him in a choir) because I couldn’t sing all the notes in his baritone range. When I used the term “Middle C” with a three-year-old student, her father was furious because I did not use the “correct” term of either C4 or C’. For a three-year-old.

Richie*, a tenor, would greet me at every rehearsal during Lent with, “what’s the dirge of the week?” In that same choir, I also had a on again/off again tenor (it’s always the tenors) who would demand to sing “How Great Thou Art” whenever the mood struck him, usually that Sunday. He complained when I told him we already had rehearsed anthems but offered he could sing in two weeks. When he DID sing, he made such a big deal of it, pushing the mic away from the Lectern and singing as loudly as he could, that I cringed every time he did it. Clergy cringed too. I probably let him sing too many times, but he was LOUD in every way!

Jana* and Glenna* were in the midst of “Diva Wars” when I arrived. Both felt they should be the one to sing “O Holy Night” on Christmas Eve. Did I mention I began this position in late August? That fall while they were sniping at each other and at me, I decided NO ONE would sing “O Holy Night,” which irritated them both. But it bought me a year to figure out the best recourse. I decided to allow one to sing “O Holy Night” and the other to sing “Gesu Bambino,” and I didn’t care who did what. But I had a stipulation; the following year, they would switch and sing the piece that hadn’t sung the year before. It worked out but it was snarky going for a while.

I have a soft spot for Connie*, poor old thing. She was in her late 70s/early 80s when I first met her, and she had a vibrato you could drive a truck through. I was told she had been a fine soprano in her younger days, but it was hard to believe. She was such a sweet, chatty lady, in charge of the Women’s Organization’s yearly fashion show, and had a sense of style and kindness but she was always late. Always. She lived less than five minutes from church, but her husband expected her to make a huge meal every day, even on choir practice nights, as well as finish the dishes before she left. I don’t recall her ever being on time for choir practice. She had colitis, with flare-ups almost every Sunday morning, so she would sneak into the choir loft, not having been to our warm-ups, during the organ prelude. Her assigned seat was next to me, so she would describe IN DETAIL why she was late, while I was trying to listen YIKES! She loved me and I loved her, so I made allowances, but she was something!

One of the first singers in my chamber choir was Linda*. She had a degree in voice and was an excellent musician but thought our repertoire was too difficult. She had to practice—I made her cry with Poulenc—and felt she should just be able to come to rehearsal and be done with it. She sang alto because we needed altos at the time but claimed she was a first soprano. I thought she was more of a second, but since she was singing alto, it didn’t matter. She asked to sing soprano one concert cycle, but she was the only alto, so I told her no. We had two more altos the next cycle, so she sang soprano, and thought she would be happy. After that concert cycle, she told me unless I chose easier music, she wouldn’t be back. She wasn’t.

Until next week, be well and be safe!

*Names Modified

I am taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page for the foreseeable future. Please join me there this morning! https://www.facebook.com/themidwestmotetsociety/

Filed Under: Choral Culture, Choral Ethics, Choral Potpourri, Church Choir, Leadership, Self Care, The Choral Life

Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics: Leaving the Past Behind

February 25, 2021 by Marie Grass Amenta Leave a Comment

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” Voltaire

For the month of February, I decided to share portions of a file of letters from a former singer of mine, Edie,* and others. Today, I’d like to share portions of several letters as well as my perspective about the whole situation. Hindsight is always 20/20 and with time and age, things become clearer. These letters bring back a period in my life I had forgotten and it’s clear to me why I had forgotten.

First, I’d like to share a portion of a card I received from one of my favorite singers, Betty*. The foster Mom of a young child with Downs Syndrome, we had a lot in common raising special needs children. Her child died a year before we left the area and soon after, her husband filed for divorce. She was a wonderful person, going through a lot in a short period of time and I missed her.

“…..but I have not been able to sing in the choir because of my (new) work hours. Recently I gained knowledge about serious problems between some choir members, the new director and Dotty*. I think it is unfortunate that the problems here have been unloaded on you.”

And they really were unloaded on me.

Edie’s February 1 letter of that year explains what happened recently and complains about the minister’s lack of leadership.

“Well Dotty quit and I (the trouble maker) dropped out. All the way out that is. I do not care to go where the truth cannot be told and those who do are condemned.”

She continues:

“What kind of @#%&*$ minister is Mitchell* anyway?”

She then tells me what she means, which I won’t share here because it was all quite convoluted. Her next letter, dated February 15, was almost identical to the February 1 letter. Other than hoping my family was well and telling me about the weather, it was practically verbatim. In the last letter I have from her, dated July 6, she told me about her wonderful new church and their great choir. Oh, and she complained A LOT about another choir member (from the old church):

“Babs* has been calling me quite often and I hate talking to her because she never knows when to stop talking and you can’t get a word in edgewise. Motor mouth I call her. Last week though, I figured I should call her even though I hated to. She started in about the church and how awful it was with no music at all, no choir, no soloist and how dull it was.”

She said they started yelling at each other about the whole situation and Babs hung up on her.

“Is everybody at that Church nuts? I didn’t start in about the church–she did. One thing is certain she did me a big favor. I won’t have to listen to her babble for over an hour about God knows what. I could never figure out what she was talking about.” She ends telling me about the unusual summer weather the area was having and signed off with love for me and my family. I have no other correspondence with her and never heard from her again to my knowledge.

I haven’t mentioned this before, but my Mom grew up in the town where I worked, and my Grandmother lived six blocks from that church. Gram attended a church not too far away and had heard about everything that was happening at my old place of employment. In fact, Dotty was hired to be her church’s new organist soon after she resigned. Gram knew EVERYTHING and I spoke with her once a week. Everyone knew my Grandmother, so even if they didn’t know about Dotty, they knew Gram would be talking to me. If Edie thought she was telling me something I didn’t know, she was mistaken.

Most who contacted me were gossiping, tattling and generally being ugly about the whole thing. More than once on a phone call, I reminded folks I was several states away, not in their employ and trying to start a new chapter of my life. I had three young children, a substitute teaching job, a spouse doing a fellowship who was rarely home, with no time to be a referee. It was unfair to expect me to.

What should I have done? I should have ignored the letters. I should have asked callers not to put me in the middle of a situation I had nothing to do with, hanging up if they continued. Other than my obligation writing the annual report for the six months I had been music director the previous year; I should have discontinued contact with all those folks. Once it became apparent they were trying to suck me back in, I should have stepped away. It should have been easy but because I loved my choir and many were my friends, it was difficult. As a result, I did not have good feelings about that congregation, and it makes me sad to remember. Something to think about in your own situations.

In March, Choral Potpourri/Choral Ethics will be talking about self-care. I hope you’ll share some of your strategies too!

Until next week, be well and be safe.

I’ve been taking my Choral Ethics Blogs to my chamber choir’s Facebook page since April/May 2020. Unfortunately, I am not able to record today’s blog but should be back NEXT WEEK, March 4. See you then!

*Name Withheld

Filed Under: Choral Culture, Choral Ethics, Choral Potpourri, Church Choir, Self Care, The Choral Life

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