The Conductor as Yogi: Emergence

I am writing this post one year to the day since my last in-person, (unmasked) full choir rehearsal.  

I am not quite sure how I feel.  Sort of unsettled and wondering why, I guess.  We are receiving vaccines, seeing more re-openings, and taking steps toward the resumption of “normal” life.  I so look forward to seeing my (also vaccinated) family members when that is possible, to getting out of town for the first time in nearly two years, and just breathing a little easier, while staying mindful and vigilant with wise mitigations in public settings.

Yet, in a similar way as last spring, I feel like there is so much we don’t know about our choir lives ahead, for next fall or next season . . . though I do believe we won’t be jumping back in with the exact same expectations and ways of operating that existed before March of 2020.  Just as many, though different, questions linger now as we contemplate the next several months and how we will emerge from this era.

“Emergence” has been a recurring theme for me this past year, coming sharply into consciousness on a walk one day last March, shortly after quarantine began.  And as we went through all the shifts this year in our professional and human lives, I continued to see this word in my mind’s eye.

What does this mean, to “emerge?”  

Among the synonyms I find most telling are arise, develop, begin, come into sight, come to light, and efflorescing (or flowering, though somehow, “efflorescing” sounds even more interesting).  Each of these words suggests powerful images, linked by the common notion that “to emerge” is an act of newness, of moving forward, of growth, and importantly, of realization.

Emerging is not “returning.”  “Returning to normal” assumes this is possible or even preferable.  If emerging is characterized by growth and insight, wouldn’t we want to be always emerging, even if the outer shell of our lives looks a lot like before?  

I know, we want the “normal” of singing together in large groups and performing for our various audiences.  But there is a distinction to be made between a return to a certain structure and a return to thinking and feeling like we did before the pandemic.  We are different now, in ways we may not yet understand, and our emergent awareness can guide us to a better way of living our lives, including how we teach, create, and lead.

Maybe this is the source of my restlessness, that the pressure to “return” rubs uncomfortably against my larger mission, to move (myself and others) forward.  To continually emerge means to develop in whatever circumstances we find ourselves, knowing that answers will come if we take the time to listen.  We did just that, this past year.  We did develop, begin (again and again), and arise. New ways of creating music came into sight.  Greater awareness about people, music, life, and purpose came to light.  We emerged—though not always gracefully—every. single. day.

Can we emerge next fall as a truer version of ourselves?  Can we come out from under our former trappings of routine, of busyness, of “this is what we always do?”  Having needed to simplify, reimagine, and let go of so much for more than a year, can we find ourselves not returning, but efflorescing in ways that lift our soul because we finally recognize our unique light within and realize we can help uncover that same light in those we lead?

On my walk this morning I noticed how our unusually warm weather has helped the perennials begin to emerge from the winter of their lives.  Though they are the same flower as last year, they will look and act differently—some will bloom early, some late; some are more robust, others, more colorful . . . . Same but always new, reborn each year to a welcoming world. 

Just like us.

Dr. Ramona Wis is the Mimi Rolland Endowed Professor in the Fine Arts, Professor of Music, and Director of Choral Activities at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois and the author of The Conductor as Leader:  Principles of Leadership Applied to Life on the Podium.  Dr. Wis is a 500-hour CYT (Certified Yoga Teacher) with training in yoga history, philosophy, meditation, energetics, pranayama (breath work), anatomy, Sanskrit, and the teaching, sequencing, and adaptations of asana (posture-based) practice. Reach her at: